Acceptance is so very, very hard. The one thing it absolutely requires is suspension of judgment, true absence of judgment, something few of us are very good at.
One thing I am learning, slowly, as I struggle uphill through my haphazard life, is that if we’re going to be able at all to accept the world around us and the people in it, the first thing we need to be able to accept is ourselves.
This month’s #1000Speak post is not a how-to or a how-I-got-here or a here-is-what-I’ve-learned. It’s random thoughts, mainly, on something I need to get a lot better at. But I didn’t realize that at first. As usual, I was struggling with what to write this month.
And then I saw this on Facebook the other day, and it was perfect:
I can’t credit the author of the meme, but I can tell you that it came from the Facebook page of Tree Sisters, and I love it. Trees and Ram Dass; what’s not to love?
I struggle horribly with acceptance. Like so many, I’m a lot more forgiving and accepting of others than I am of myself. (Well, except for bigots and Kardashian fans. We’ve got nothing to talk about.)
The different body types. Oh Lord, is this a peeve of mine, the notion that an imperfect body denotes a imperfect person, and don’t even get me started on my loathing for the ridiculous standards of beauty rampant in this country. I’m the first to defend anybody else for not being physically “perfect” (whatever that’s supposed to be anyway), but I’m the first to criticize myself. I remember when Dream Girl was little and she asked me why people love other people who are ugly, and I told her that no one who is loved is ugly, because love makes people beautiful. I would do well to remember that I am loved, and therefore I am beautiful.
Personal faults. How silly is it, to be accepting and understanding of the faults of others but not to extend that same grace to myself? This is not an excuse to decide I don’t need to try to become a better person. I believe that’s one of the things we’re living this life for – to evolve. But it is a reminder that as much as I want to be better, I am also exactly where I’m supposed to be. If I was supposed to be somewhere else, that’s where I’d be. As long as I don’t stop striving, it’s okay to cut myself some slack.
The views and opinions of others. Yes, even bigots and Kardashian fans. Each of us here is evolving, in our way and in our own time, with our own unique histories and memories and battle scars and fears and windmills to tilt at. No perception of the world around us is without stain or skew. We’re all learning. Some of us are a little further along than others, and not for one second am I claiming I’m any further than anyone else. Except Kardashian fans. No, wait — them too. And yes, even bigots.
So, back to Ram Dass. How awesome is that quote, how perfectly true? We see a tree, or a flower, or a star, and we don’t criticize it. We may analyze it and classify it and place it in a certain context, as it paints part of our picture of the world for us, but we don’t criticize it. It just is.
And that’s how I’m going to look at this from now on.
I’m a tree.
You’re a tree.
And how much do I love trees?
|Some of my favorite trees. Founders Grove, Humboldt Redwoods
State Park, California.
Time, and judgment, stand still.