Do the Next Right Thing

It’s been awhile, friends.

These last two-plus years have been rough. You all know; you were there, too. Add in the fact that my now-ex-husband decided to detonate our marriage and basically walked off, leaving me to do literally everyfuckingthing re the divorce. And I did it all. I arranged all legal aspects of the divorce itself, emptied/packed up a house with cellar with no help but what I paid for, and moved three states away so I could be home again.

I’m fortunate to have survived the pandemic unscathed, both health-wise and economically. People love me and gave me a place to land when I made the big move, and helped me again when I was able to stop taking up space in their home and move into a place of my own. I’m blessed to be able to afford to save to buy a place of my own again, if housing prices ever become semi-sane again. I’m close to my kids and the rest of my family again.

But it’s all been a struggle. My brain has been soup.

I sit at my desk to do my job. I open a piece of mail and pull out the paper and look at it and decide I have no  idea what to do with this and set it down. I pick up another piece of paper that I set down yesterday because I decided I didn’t know what to do with it, and decide I still don’t know what to do it and set it down someplace else. I click on an email and feel completely unable to deal with it and click out again. And the thing is, I know perfectly well what to do with these things. If I were training someone to do my job, I can give crystal-clear instructions and explanations. But at the same time, I somehow don’t know.

It’s the same around the house, which is not helped by the fact that I work from home (even before the pandemic) so I can never get away from the damn thing and go into another place that has actual cleaning staff. I’m it. I am by nature an organized and tidy person, except that for the last several months – I’m just not.

And this is how I go through my days. I feel like I’m getting the bare minimum done, just enough so that the sky doesn’t come crashing down on me later. And folks, that is not me. That’s not how I roll. Except, apparently, that’s how I roll now.

Nope. I refuse to accept this.

And so, friends, I give you the DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING list. It’s helped a lot. Maybe you need it and it’ll help you too.

DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING

  • Drink some water
  • Sleep
  • Five Objects*
  • Put on some actual real clothes, get reacquainted with hair brush and lipstick
  • Have a jammies day
  • Plan a trip
  • Curl up with a book and quality tea
  • Swim laps
  • Make your bed
  • Make the doctor/test/lab appointment/refill the prescription
  • Play a video game
  • Take out the trash
  • Treat yourself to something that will improve your life and enjoy that thing
  • Or don’t spend the money; move it to savings instead and feel virtuous
  • Go kayaking
  • Sink Zero*
  • Take care of the piece of paper/answer the goddamn email already
  • Help someone else out by donating to a worthy cause; even five bucks is five bucks they didn’t have before
  • Go for a hike
  • Write. Book review, flash fiction, a blog post like this one, whatever. Just write it.
  • Cook a healthful** meal, and make enough for two meals
  • Maybe it’s Treat Day – have some ice cream
  • Finalize a draft post and publish it
  • Movie or binge-watch
  • Put on music and dance around

You will note my phone, social media, and the news make no appearance here. That’s intentional! The world is on fire right now and there’s not a damn thing I can personally do about it, beyond voting and donating and being nice to other people. Ostriches stick their heads in the sand for good reason. Protect yourself. Be an ostrich.

Many things on this list contradict other things. That’s because the next right thing can be different at any moment. What thing will help me feel the opposite of whatever negative way I’m feeling right now? Am I overwhelmed and needing to check out, or am I overwhelmed and needing to check something off a to-do list? Beyond whatever depressive/scattered/anxious instinct might be telling me to do right now, what thing will do the most actual good for my body and my psyche? That’s the next right thing. (Although “drink some water” is pretty much always helpful.)

Today, this was the Next Right Thing. Maybe tomorrow it will be Sink Zero. Or not. (Author photo)

*Five Objects and Sink Zero are concepts I’m shamelessly kyping from Rachel Hoffman’s excellent http://unfuckyourhabitat.com. They are:

Five Objects: Immediate environment is bothersome. Identify five objects that are out of place and put them where they belong. Just five. It’ll take literally three minutes and it will definitely help. (If you’re badly enough off that you need to count a pair of shoes as two objects, that’s fine. Whatever gets you there right now.)

Sink Zero: Getting to zero dirty dishes in the sink. Maybe they’ve piled up for three days, or maybe there’s only a coffee cup and two forks in there. Either way.

**I know “eat something healthy” has become standard usage, but it’s grammatically incorrect and drives me crazy and you can’t make me use it. Of course I eat healthy food; I’m not gonna eat diseased food (and let’s add “detox the fridge” to the above list). Eating healthful food is eating food that promotes good health.

If you’re reading this, that means at some point writing this post was my Next Right Thing and it made me feel better, and at another point editing and finalizing and publishing it was my Next Right Thing, and that also made me feel better.

And that’s my do the next right thing strategy. It’s been helping me a lot. I hope it helps you, too. We’re all in this together.

The Interdependency Series by John Scalzi (Threefer Book Review)

The Collapsing Empire (The Interdependency, #1)The Collapsing Empire by John Scalzi
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: the-shit, quantum-stuff, end-of-the-world, five-stars-means-I’ll-read-it-again, outer-space, futuristic, sci-fi

Now I want to be Kiva Lagos when I grow up.

Because Stephen King and George R.R. Martin have both broken my heart with slowly published series in the past, I now make it a rule to refrain from reading the first book until the last one is published. I’d been seeing rave reviews for both The Collapsing Empire and The Consuming Fire, but refused to let myself get sucked in until The Last Experox was published in April 2020.  Then I joined the endless queue for a library copy of the first volume, but severe cases of both pandemic brain and trump fatigue syndrome coupled with a desperate need to read something non-depressing and utterly escapist moved me to just buy all three volumes for Kindle.

Brief recap: The Interdependency is a group of planetary systems connected by the Flow, a quantum phenomenon that makes interstellar travel possible. The first problem? The Flow is collapsing, leaving systems cut off from each other and the necessities each produces and trades and consigning all but one system to certain extinction. The second problem? Power games and political maneuvering. It’s kinda like Game of Thrones set in outer space, with rather less blood (and no twin incest, sorry).

Scalzi has said many times (he’s a good follow on Twitter, by the way) that the books were conceived and mostly written prior to 2016, but the parallels between series events and what’s going on in the U.S. as I write this in August 2020 are uncanny. You’ll never convince me that Nadashe Nohamapetan isn’t at least loosely based on Ivanka Stanka, which makes John Scalzi philosophy-lite wise, wryly funny with his own brand of snark, and psychic.

Pick these up; you won’t regret it. They went on sale for dirt cheap a week after I paid full price, and I wasn’t even pissed. Worth it.

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Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews (Reading Challenge Book Review)

Flowers in the Attic (Dollanganger, #1)Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I clearly remembered seeing this ratty paperback being passed from one teenaged girl’s hand to the next when I was in high school but that can’t be right–I’d graduated six months before the book came out. So maybe I’m thinking of Carrie? Or Go Ask Alice? Something smutty and therefore taboo and enticing, but I dunno. ~shrug~

Anyway, I selected this as #21, a book published during my birth month (November), for my 2020 Reading Challenge. I started it in October, as Halloween was approaching, the weather was getting cooler and rainier and windier, and I was rattling around alone and anxious, cleaning out and packing up an entire household by myself after my stbx decided to torpedo our marriage and left, dumping literally everything on me. So, the timing and setting should have been ideal. Dismal weather, nerve-racking personal situation, spooky holiday–enter the gothic horror novel. Perfect!

Except, not so much.

I almost stopped reading at 33%, but virtually every other book I owned was packed. The characters are by turns flat and annoying, the writing style is that of a nursery story with endless details and egregious overuse of “golly” and the ! key, overwrought dialogue, the action and suspense were drawn out and lackluster. But I just wanted every sucky thing in my life to be behind me, including this book, and I didn’t have the spoons to deal with the library and having to pick something new. So I kept going.

The verdict: Worth it, I suppose. A lot of people loved it. I don’t regret reading it, but didn’t enjoy it enough to continue with the series, especially since I know that after her death, pre-Internet and therefore not splashed literally everywhere, “V.C. Andrews” books were ghostwritten with zero attribution to the actual ghostwriter. Cashing in and keeping her hidden is thematically on-brand, at least.

Bookshelves: creepy-horror-stuff, goth-lit, bad-dialogue, horror, ya, everybody-loved-it-but-me, reading-challenge

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow (Book Review)

The Ten Thousand Doors of JanuaryThe Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: fantasy, quantum-stuff, cover-love

I’m waaaay late publishing this, but this was my first best read of 2020. You know, before everything went to shit.

This fantasy is a delightful cross between The Golden Compass and Narnia. The writing is rich and lyrical, and I fell in love with the characters.

The cover is stunning.

Highly recommended.

Go on a magic journey with me on Goodreads

The Two Mrs. Grenvilles by Dominick Dunne (Book Review)

The Two Mrs. GrenvillesThe Two Mrs. Grenvilles by Dominick Dunne

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: lifestyles-of-the-rich-and-famous, trashiest-trash, high-society, roman-a-clef, in-the-news

Another fun roman à clef from Dominick Dunne, this is not* the not-even-thinly-disguised story of the real-life uber-wealthy Woodward family. Prep schools, country clubs, banking fortunes, golddiggers, sex, the New York Social Register, drugs, scandal–it’s all here, including the power the real rich can wield to literally get away with murder.

Put on your comfies, pour a big glass of wine, and settle in for a solidly entertaining trashy read.

*Except that it is. After I finished this book, I googled the real story, and then put aside my never-read-the-unfinished-last-work policy and read Truman Capote’s Answered Prayers, which purportedly inspired one of the real Mrs. Grenvilles to suicide.

Let’s discover more great trash on Goodreads!

White Trash: The 400-Year Untold History of Class in America by Nancy Isenberg (Book Review)

White Trash: The 400-Year Untold History of Class in AmericaWhite Trash: The 400-Year Untold History of Class in America by Nancy Isenberg

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

If there’s a message beyond “hey, everybody, there’s a class system in America” (as a card-carrying member of the The Poors, I’m well aware of that, thanks), I will never find it. This might have been excellent as a collection of essays with the padding cut out. I was not aware of much of what I did get through and I enjoy learning new things, but even though I agree with the author’s (probable) politics, I found this too repetitive and dry.

It might well be me. I’m presently struggling to navigate my third cratered marriage and divorce, so it’s difficult to keep my mind on anything but the fluffiest fluff. I’ll try to read this again and will update accordingly. If you’ve read this, please share your thoughts!

Bookshelves: american-history, current-social-issues, non-fiction

Join me on Goodreads so I can see what you’ve read that’s better than this

American Spy by Lauren Wilkinson (Book Review)

American SpyAmerican Spy by Lauren Wilkinson

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: spy-vs-spy, history, africa, in-the-news, fictionalized-history, not-quite-a-romance, politics, racism, sexism

I’ve never been great about keeping up with world events, although I’ve gotten kinda (depressingly) better with the arrival of Der Trumpenfuhrer and my own fucking country mucking things up even more than they already are. So, while I had heard of the Republic of the Upper Volta, I had no idea it is now officially named Burkina Faso, and I certainly knew nothing of “Africa’s Che Guevara” and the coup d’état of 1987.

Multiple timelines work well here. The story opens when former FBI agent Marie Mitchell narrowly escapes a hit attempt and flees her home in the U.S. with her young sons to her mother’s home on Martinique. Between “current” (1992) events and flashback to the events of 1987 in Africa, Wilkinson makes strong use of the second-person voice as Marie writes a journal-style letter to her young sons, explaining her decisions, her ideologies, and her hopes for them, while preparing for her own final and personal mission to put it all to bed for good.

Do not mistake this for a spy thriller. There are no microchips embedded into human flesh, or agents desperately scrambling into an airplane as it’s lifting off the runway, and therefore I’m guessing it’s actually a lot more realistic than, say, The Bourne Identity.* To me, it read like the political and diplomatic story of an actual historical event at the heart of the Cold War with a “what if” added to it. The tensions of racism, sexism, family issues, and the mystery of a lost loved one add in to make an engrossing read with a strong, smart protagonist.

*I have not actually read any of the Bourne books, and after reading a few reviews, I’ve decided that I will not read them, since I enjoyed the three Bourne movies (and love me some Matt Damon).** I also see I’ve never actually read anything by Robert Ludlum at all  and I think I must amend that.

**I know there were actually five Bourne movies but I do not intend to watch the last two; reference Matt Damon’s own joke about “The Bourne Redundancy.”

I’ll also be reading Lauren Wilkinson’s next book, as I enjoyed this debut.

View all my reviews

In the Garden of Beasts by Erik Larson (Book Review)

In the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler's BerlinIn the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler’s Berlin by Erik Larson

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

“I walked across the snowy plain of the Tiergarten—a smashed statue here, a newly planted sapling there; the Brandenburger Tor, with its red flag flapping against the blue winter sky; and on the horizon, the great ribs of a gutted railway station, like the skeleton of a whale. In the morning light it was all as raw and frank as the voice of history which tells you not to fool yourself; this can happen to any city, to anyone, to you.” — Christopher Isherwood, Down There on a Visit

Bookshelves: history, wwii, nazi-hate, current-social-issues, investigative-journalism, jewish-history, germany, sleep-with-the-light-on, non-fiction

Either you already know how bad trump is or you don’t want to know, so I’ll skip the rant. I did, however, make my highlights in this ebook public, which I seldom do. Read what I’ve highlighted at the Goodreads link below, if you want to see the obvious similarities between Hitler and the Nazi regime and our present administration and Dur Trumpenfuhrer. And keep in mind this book was published well before our current presidential debacle.

In the Garden of Beasts tells of the U.S. Ambassador to Germany, William E. Dodd, with a lot of focus on his daughter Martha and her string of Nazi boyfriends, from his posting in 1933 until Hitler’s brutal consolidation of power with the Night of the Long Knives (Nacht der langen Messer, or Operation Hummingbird) in 1934.The book is not as gripping as either Isaac’s Storm or Dead Wake, and that is likely due to the angle from which it’s written. We see events through Dodd’s eyes, a man who seems woefully unqualified and shockingly ineffectual at whatever he might have been trying to accomplish. The action in the book felt quite passive to me, atrocities snowballing all around while everyone-not-a-Nazi is helpless and nobody listens to Cassandra. It’s easy to forget that Hitler may have been stopped before the horror was fully realized, had any other powers including the United States, Britain, or France taken a hard stance. And it’s easy to see how easily we can slide into a cesspool just like it if we’re not careful.

And what did it all come down to, at least for America? You got it–money. Germany owed a lot of money to rich and influential Americans, so God forbid we stand up to a fascist killer and his “Jewish problem,” because then Germany might get pissy and default on their American loans.

Fucking money. Fuck money. Fuck Hitler, fuck Nazis, and fuck trump and all his evil minions too.

Click here to see my review on Goodreads, with e-book text highlights.

The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling (Book Review)

The Casual VacancyThe Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

For me, this book was kind of like when you splurge on a high-end chocolate bar and stash it for later, only to forget about it, and then you stumble on it later and you’re ridiculously happy at the treat you hid from yourself. This was the first non-Harry Potter book that J.K. Rowling published and I hesitated to read it, because I knew it wasn’t Harry Potter, and I adored Harry Potter, and I didn’t want to be disappointed.

(I did, however, read the Cormoran Strike–and you will never convince me that’s not the coolest name ever–whodunits Rowling wrote as Robert Galbraith, and I really enjoyed them.)

So I finally picked this one up, and I am suitably impressed. Many reviewers found it slow-paced, and I suppose it is, but it sucked me in and I tore through it in two (slow) work days. It’s not highly dramatic, no; it’s not chock-full of suspense or horror. It’s not a murder mystery, despite the death in the opening chapter. It is a brilliant character sketch with all the real-life grit of Peyton Place together with dark humor and a smidge of satire, not just of a large cast of widely differing and deeply complex people, but of an entire town. Humans and town both hide secrets and flaws, jealousies and fears, dreams and desires, abuses both inflicted and endured, all of which are stirred into the pot of a suddenly open seat on the parish council, and which come to a boil in a delightfully bittersweet brew of schadenfreude.

Excellent.

Bookshelves: suburbia, satire, grittiest-reality, schadenfreude, alternating-povs, dark humor, brit-lit

Hard as it is to imagine, there is more to life than Hogwarts

Cinder by Marissa Meyer (Reading Challenge Book Review)

Cinder (The Lunar Chronicles, #1)Cinder by Marissa Meyer

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: twisted-fairy-tale, futuristic, sci-fi, dystopia, ya, cover-love

This book was #6 and #27 on my 2020 Reading Challenge, a book with a robot/AI/cyborg character and a book set in a city that has hosted the Olympics, respectively. Cinder is a retelling of Cinderella featuring Cinder the cyborg, set in Beijing at an unspecified time in the future.

I chose this back in December 2019 but didn’t read it until the Covid-19 pandemic had the U.S. tight in its grasp. Dystopia; sign me up. Futuristic/sci-fi/cyborgs; cool. Reimagined fairy tale; I love those. This cover; swoon. A plague; I can definitely relate. But a plague we are actively researching, tracing, and are working hard to protect people from?!? Sorry, I don’t know how to suspend that much disbelief. Not the book’s fault, and maybe a bit prescient.

Now I’m going to sound like a crabby old lady, and so be it. Here comes the “in MY day…” In MY day, books were better edited. If I found a typo or grammatical error (that wasn’t a colloquialism and therefore intentional), it was diary-worthy. The ones I found in this book included, and I paraphrase, “Her eyes surpassed Kai as she looked across the room” and using “treatise” instead of “treaty,” more than once. I do not think those words mean what you think they mean, with a nod to Inigo Montoya.

Those things aside, this wasn’t bad. The world is well-imagined and the original fairy tale is well-twisted. I found the contrivances and characters’ actions to be a bit juvenile at times (stamping one’s foot in anger is kinda three-year-old) but it is a YA book, so, okay. It gets lots of extra points for being something my brain could escape into during these anxious and uncertain times, which is something that several other, more “literary,” books have been unable to do. It was what I needed when I needed it.

The biggest disappointment for me is that it doesn’t stand alone with its cliffhanger ending. I may or may not continue with the series.

Find a great escape with me on Goodreads