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The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe by J. Randy Taraborrelli (Book Review)

The Secret Life of Marilyn MonroeThe Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe by J. Randy Taraborrelli

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: biography, ugh, conspiracy-theories, lifestyles-of-the-rich-and-famous, addiction, mental-illness, show-your-work, americana, hollywood

I’m fascinated by Marilyn Monroe. Not sure why. It’s not that my husband likes to say I look like her–I don’t. He’s just being sweet. But it’s odd that it took me this long to read a Marilyn biography or watch a Marilyn movie. I chose this one because it was the highest-rated on Goodreads. I almost decided not to finish it, and now I’m pissed that I did finish it.

1. Much of Marilyn’s life was mysterious, glamorous, tragic. Mostly mysterious, particularly her death. I was annoyed several times as the author glossed over speculations about her death and things rumored to have factored in to it such as the possibility of an affair with RFK as well as JFK, with statements like, “Fresh research assembled for this book says it didn’t happen.” That’s it. Just take his word for it. But it’s even worse than that. He starts the sources section by saying that appendices are just typing exercises, they’re a waste of ink and paper, nobody reads them anyway, so he’s not actually going to set out his sources. He refers to a few documentary sources in the narrative, such as reports from the FBI (whom he trashes). But he doesn’t cite them as a source.

What the what? Math and biographies, dude: SHOW. YOUR. WORK.

I’m one of those people who does read appendices.

But here’s the real kicker. He dismisses speculation about her death this way: “If she had been a stable woman who had never overdosed in her lifetime, then, yes, one might legitimately question the circumstances of her death. However…” And I am not using that quote that out of context.

What in the actual fuck. She was an addict, so any questioning of suspicious circumstances is not legitimate? She was an addict, so she can’t also be a victim of foul play? Is the author one of those assholes who thinks a rape victim’s sexual history is relevant? This is especially galling after you’ve read an entire book themed around poor-Marilyn-nothing-was-her-fault; see #2.

2. The writer was perhaps a bit too dazzled by his subject. To hear him tell it, she was incapable of making a stupid decision or simply acting like a shit sometimes like the rest of us. Every negative behavior is blamed on mental illness, her sad childhood, her crazy mother, her daddy issues, power-tripping studio heads, greedy and controlling acting coaches, hyperprescribing doctors, too much therapy and wallowing, abusive husbands, the effects of alcohol and pills, the nature of addiction, paranoia from the FBI following her around. Marilyn herself was never culpable for anything. It wore thin.

Except for her death, of course; she evidently had that coming. It’s appalling.

3. It suffers from Other People’s Childhoods Syndrome. Normally I’d give the author a pass for this one because it’s so tough to make anybody else’s childhood interesting to me, but I’m throwing the book at this book, ha ha. I skipped ahead to the James Dougherty marriage and the beginning of modeling, and don’t feel I missed anything, especially since he repeats so much; see #4.

4. The writing is meh, and the narrative jumps around in time and repeats things so I was always flipping back and forth to see if I really already had read something, and yes, yes I had. Overall, it reads like a not-quite-finished draft; do some more editing, tighten up the timeline, cut about 200 pages of minutiae. One photo is said to have been taken at a party hosted by producer Harvey Weinstein, who would have been ten years old at the time. Understandable mistake, I suppose, but then it appears that Harvey Weinstein, writer Walter Bernstein and producer Henry T. Weinstein are all conflated when the book references the (as far as I can determine) non-existent producer Harvey Bernstein. Exhaustive detail is not always a good thing, and there’s way too much of it here…

5. …right up until her death, which the author treats almost like a postscript. The book bogs down with detail and it was getting annoying, glancing down and seeing I was only at 35%, 43%, good Lord, I’ve been reading for a day and a half and I’m only at 48%? I initially skipped what I was sure would be the most interesting parts (the Rat Pack, the Kennedys, the Lost Weekend) because I’d had enough, and jumped ahead to her death. I couldn’t believe the treatment he gave it, so I went back and read what I’d skipped to see if I’d missed some justification for the conclusions. I had not.

Yes, my interest may be morbid, but in my own defense, I also like true crime. Marilyn’s death remains so mysterious but the author skims right over it. After endless imagined or third-hand conversations, interviews with people only peripherally involved in her life, detailed descriptions of what she was wearing, allusions on virtually every page to her vulnerability and mental illness and despair and emotional spirals and loneliness, she’s a poor-little-lost-girl-victim all the way, over and over, okay, okay, I get it, and then the last chapter is like, “Marilyn was found dead from a drug overdose. Lots of contradictions and different theories. Ignore the suspicious stuff because I said so. Accidentally or intentionally, she did it herself. So sad. Legend, icon, live forever in our hearts, blah blah blah. The End.”

Since I was lying around feeling lousy, nursing a sinus infection/allergies/spring crud, I decided to continue being unproductive and turned to YouTube clips. Yes, she did have a certain something, a fascinating blend of innocence and sophistication. We’ll never know if she could have become a good dramatic actress, but she certainly had a gift for the sexy and funny. All glammed up she was the quintessential movie star but au naturel her beauty was ethereal. The woman was stunning, and cameras loved her. (Some of her nude shots don’t even try to cover a surgical scar, and I appreciate that.)

Movie clips led to Marilyn documentaries, the conspiracy stuff. Good Lord, I’d never known. What really gets me is the story of how she was found: The housekeeper became alarmed when Marilyn’s door was locked, she called the doctor, he came over, he looked through the window of the French door to her bedroom, saw her lying face down with the phone in her hand, he broke the window and reached in to open the latch so he could get to her. Fine, but now Google photos of the house. (1) Where she was lying on the bed, Marilyn would not have been visible through the window at that angle; there’s a bureau or something with stuff piled on it, in the way, and (2) no intelligent person would reach through that broken window; you’d shred your hand and arm.

That’s just for starters. Yes, innuendo and rumor are one thing, but suspicions raised by officials and forensic science are quite another. Those officials’ statements and crime scene reports are not even referenced. What about the later statement that none of the interior doors in the house had locks, including the one to her bedroom? What about the assistant district attorney who says that Marilyn’s organs and other samples and slides disappeared, that what tissue analysis was done was almost perfunctory? What about her completely empty stomach and the lack of any water glass at the scene? What about the claims that bruising and lividity indicated her body had been moved after death? (And if you look at the “death” photo, that shows her lying face-down on the bed, that lividity is clearly visible.) What about the missing diary? What about the Hollywood cop who stated that on the evening of Marilyn’s death, he’d pulled over a car driven by Peter Lawford with Bobby Kennedy in the passenger seat, even though Kennedy was supposedly in San Francisco that night? Rumors of the FBI, the CIA, the mob? Only some of that is here, and it’s glossed over and dismissed out of hand.

There’s a lot floating around out there; the only conspiracy I didn’t find online is that she faked her death and is off somewhere living it up with Jimi Hendrix and Elvis. And I understand how it is. One person says this, another says that, the first person later says another thing, and things contradict other things.  People misspeak during trauma, perhaps remember differently later, misjudge times and whatnot. Memories fade after 50 years. I get that. But it’s one thing when a conspiracy blogger says “research shows” without citing that research; I expect better from a journalist.

This book has a lot (a lot) of information about Marilyn’s relationships with her mother and half-sister, other friendships, her marriages, her movies. The author hammers on indications that she was borderline paranoid schizophrenic. But as far as her death is concerned, and life circumstances that contributed to it, it’s hardly definitive. Not when the writer doesn’t address discrepancies, justify conclusions, or cite sources.

I’m quite annoyed that this is the Marilyn biography I chose to read. We can call it my Lost Weekend.

P.S. My daughter and I just watched The Seven Year Itch in its entirety. Loved it.

P.P.S. A good friend of mine is adamant that he saw Marilyn’s ghost at the Hollywood Roosevelt. I believe him.

Join me on Goodreads: View all my reviews

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What Happened? Fire and Fury (and Some Russians, and a Porn Star) (Twofer Book Review)

Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White HouseFire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House by Michael Wolff

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: in-the-news, politics, journalistic, non-fiction, current-social-issues, controversial

My mom and I were bashing our fake president one day when Mom pronounced Ivanka with a flat A, as in apple. I said no, Mom, it’s i-VAHN-ka, and Mom replied, “I-vank-a Stank-a.” Oh Mom, I love you so much.

I wasn’t going to read this book. I am already so utterly sick of this White Trash White House, with its 14 new contentious/sordid/idiotic headlines every morning. I changed my mind when I read that the Pussy Grabber in Chief sent a cease-and-desist letter to the publisher, in his typical wannabe-dictator-and-screw-the-Constitution style. Then I almost actually bought a copy, figuring it was the most patriotic thing I could do, but in the end I couldn’t make myself shell out 17 smackers that could, based on any possible agreements the author had with his sources, end up in any of these slimeballs’ pockets. So I patiently worked my way up from #1,947 on the waiting list at my library. No joke.

And here I am. Wiser? Who knows. I figure anybody should take this with a margarita-rimful of salt. More depressed? Certainly. More convinced we’re all going to die? A bit.

There’s a lot of dish here, but not the fun salacious-gossip kind of dish. Ugly, moronic, appalling dish that showcases just how badly eroded the Republican party has become over the last 30 years (I am a recovered Republican, finally got disgusted and jumped ship after Dubya’s first term, and who’da thunk I’d be missing him?). Wolff is an engaging enough writer, and his probes into Trump’s psychological state feel absolutely correct. Still, the whole book has a slapped-together, not-entirely-edited feel that isn’t helped by the cheap paper and the (satisfyingly) unflattering photo on the cover. The takeaways are even more alarming than what you read in the news: Trump himself is a childish narcissist who is bored by, you know, policy, doesn’t read, and is influenced most by whoever he last spoke with. The real evil here is Steve Bannon, followed closely by Jarvanka (the only portmanteau couple name I’ve ever actually liked; makes me think of Jar Jar Binks), who are also flaming incompetents along with virtually everyone else in the West Wing. It’s frightening.

Ultimately, the whole book is like Trump himself: An unfiltered, diarrhea-stricken bull in a china shop, somehow managing to look like a used-car salesman even in a ten-thousand-dollar suit, no real plan, instant gratification only, thrown together with enough glitter and hoo-rah to suck in the masses and make a quick buck by telling us what we want to hear.

Some of it might even be true though. It certainly rings true. I’m glad I read it, for the same reason I follow our Narcissist in Chief and his grifter family on social media–always know what the assholes are up to. But now I feel like I have a film of slime all over me. I’m going to go have a bath, and dream of Democrats retaking Congress at the midterms so impeachment proceedings will actually mean something. With a huge margarita, extra salt.

Five stars, just to push it higher and piss Emperor Hirocheeto off even more.

What HappenedWhat Happened by Hillary Rodham Clinton

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: memoir, non-fiction, politics, in-the-news, controversial, current-social-issues, feminism, women

I read this immediately after reading Michael Wolff’s Fire and Fury, although at that point I was tired of it all, from Wolff’s book and keeping up with current headlines. Who wants even more election upheaval? But I’d only read the author’s introduction to What Happened before I felt better. No matter what she has to say, I thought, at least what I’m reading is compassionate, considered, intelligent, articulate–everything the Trump campaign was not.

The biggest takeaway: “All or nothing” does not work when fighting for change. Reluctance to compromise can bring about defeat. The forces opposed to change have it easier. They can just say no, again and again, and blame the other side when it doesn’t happen. If you want to get something done, you have to find a way to get to yes. Hillary Clinton understands that at its core, this is how politics is done.

Critical reviews say Hillary is merely justifying herself, telling things so she looks good. Oh, like Trump–or anyone else for that matter–wouldn’t? I found her explanations of policy enlightening and her optimism refreshing. One zinger I particularly loved, when she talked about those who figure she and Bill must have some kind of “arrangement” that kept them together through the Monica Lewinsky scandal (and I paraphrase): “Yes, we had an arrangement. It’s called a marriage.”

Other critical reviews suppose that she couldn’t possibly have written this herself and done such a good job. Perhaps. But if that’s the case, at least she had the goddamn sense to hire someone who could write it. Unlike someone else who comes to mind, Mr. “Only-I-Can-Fix-It” who evidently considers a model and Twitter to be an adequate substitute for a politically qualified and experienced communications director. (Oh, whoops – now Hope is gone, too.) And the book is well-written.

Hillary recalls the harried and hectic life of the campaign trail, the career that led to the campaign, the particular difficulties faced by any woman in a professional setting and particularly politics, friendships and family, and the constant, partisan, fruitless investigations she endured. And, of course, those fucking emails, blown up by the media and James Comey to be one of the biggest, stupidest, and least scandal-worthy political scandals in the last 100 years. She owns her campaign and admits the mistakes she made and the missteps she took, and talks frankly about her shock and bitter disappointment and what it took to crawl out of bed and keep going after 11/9.

My own great-great-aunt was deep in the fight for women’s suffrage, and I was so happy to cast my vote for a woman for President of the United States. I cried the next morning when I saw the headlines, but not only because she’d lost. It was who she’d lost to. And why. James Comey has a lot to answer for. It’s true that I lean more left than right, but there are some Republican principles I support as well–and you will never convince me that the current administration is anything less than a circus. You might not like her personally, but Hillary is infinitely more qualified, in education, intelligence, experience, temperament.

This book got the bad taste out of my mouth, left me feeling a little bit hopeful, and reminded me that while we didn’t break that highest glass ceiling this time, we’re still so much closer. I still believe it will happen in my lifetime, and Hillary Rodham Clinton did a lot to get us there.

Join me on Goodreads: View all my reviews

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Sun Sillies (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

Torrey steps out the front door and into full spring. Azure sky tops the budding trees, home to birds gone mad with singing, still-ragged yard blooming. Happy to be out of bulky sweaters and boots, Torrey knows she is a vision in cream slacks and shell, draped cardigan in petal pink, neutral pumps, her favorite pink-and-gold-chain envelope bag barely still fashionable. Sunshine. Spring, finally!

Thirty minutes later she emerges from the parking garage on Pike Street into a downpour. Of course she left her umbrella at home. Of course she’s wearing cashmere and suede.

Spring? April Fool’s, silly girl.

b4622-flock2bof2bumbrellas
Author photo.

Every week at the ranch, Charli Mills hosts the Rough Writers and Friends flash fiction challenge. This week’s prompt: “In 99 words (no more, no less) write a silly sun story. Up north, “sun silly” is the energetic and playful response to returning sunlight. It could also be an April Fool’s jest, a silly story, or a reaction to spring fever. Be silly and write playfully! Go where the prompt leads.”

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What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty

What Alice ForgotWhat Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty

Liane Moriarty is the chick-lit writer who can make me like chick-lit.

Bookshelves: chick-lit, suburbia, rom-com, aussie-writers

Suck-you-in premise. Alice wakes up one day after fainting while at the gym, wondering what the hell she was even doing at a gym, worried that her tumble off the stationary bike hurt the baby she’s carrying, needing the comfort and steadiness of her love-of-a-lifetime husband, Nick. Only problem is, she gave birth to the baby ten years ago, and she and Nick are in the throes of a knock-down-drag-out divorce and custody battle over all three of their kids – none of whom she can remember. And to add insult to injury, she’s not 29, but staring down the barrel of forty.

One little bump on the head and ten years of her life are gone. Poof. Amnesia is not quite as cool as daytime TV would have us think.

Alice’s journey as she tries to put all the pieces together is hilarious on one hand and heartbreaking on the other. Who are these miraculous and frustrating little beings she is told are her children? What happened with Nick? Who is this Gina woman? Has she already slept with this guy she’s apparently dating? Why do she and her sister barely speak anymore? Why does she have such a piece of work as a best friend? How does anyone find time for all these projects and committees? And what in God’s name was she doing in a gym?

I admit, I was rooting for Alice and Nick to remember all the wonderful things about each other that brought them together, to remember what’s important and that you have to work to hold on to love in the midst of making careers and raising children. At the same time I was fully prepared to be disgusted if Moriarty had tied things up with such a neat and facile bow.

Fortunately, she didn’t do that. Alice’s memory comes back. Not just the good stuff, but all the stuff. It’s true what they say, that you can’t go home again. But sometimes we can all use a slap-you-upside-the-head mirror to view our lives and those we love.

Join me on Goodreads: View all my reviews

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Flying Fingers (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

“I recommend you start your foreign language requirement right away,” the department assistant says. “You need three quarters so you don’t want to leave it too late.”

“Huh.” Jane looks down at the catalog. French, her nemesis. Couldn’t get it in high school; no reason to think anything’s changed. “No Italian?” she asks hopefullly. Italian is so beautiful.

“No Italian.”

Movement in her peripheral vision draws her eye: Two people entering the language office, hands fluttering like birds, fingers flying.

It’s a sign.

Jane double-checks the catalog for confirmation. “American Sign Language. That’s what I want to take.”

L@TipForward Wikimedia Commons
Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Every week at the Ranch, Charli Mills hosts the Rough Writers and Friends flash fiction challenge. This week’s prompt: “In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story about fingers that fly. Think about the different ways we use our fingers and what happens when we add speed. Go where the prompt leads.”

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Venting (Jane Doe Six Sentence Stories)

“You’re awful cocky, considering it’s only luck we’re in a no-fault state and I didn’t hang you out to dry instead of the other way around,” Allan says sweetly, handing her this month’s check. “Luck and ancient housing design.”

Torrey narrows her eyes at him.

“Oh, Torrey, baby, I knew you were screwing around from the the day it started. Your obsession with that old dump of a house, I’da thought you’d know not to have private phone conversations sitting next to the heater vent.”

Torrey feels her eyes widen before she can stop them, turns her face to try to hide the flush flaming up to her hairline, but Allan’s already walking back to his car, laughing and slapping his knee theatrically.

vent 3dman_eu
Photo: 3dman_eu

Every week, Denise at Girlie on the Edge hosts the Six Sentence Stories flash fiction linkup and blog hop. This week’s cue was VENT. Fun sixes from other writers are at the link. Come join the fun!

 

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The Wind in His Heart by Charles de Lint (Book Review)

The Wind in His HeartThe Wind in His Heart by Charles de Lint

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: urban-fantasy, made-me-homesick, mysticism, native-american-lore, fantasy, coming-of-age, multiple-povs, religion-sort-of, magic, supernatural

The fates of several very different people meet when a troubled teenager with an attitude is dumped on the rez from her father’s car, and a desert rat steps in to help against his better judgment, as the young girl makes a play for money by trying to expose the desert rat’s hidden identity. A blogger/journalist shows up right in time to be caught up in the showdown between the modern and the traditionalist members of the tribe and the fallout from the trophy-hunt killing of a shapeshifter.

This is a suck-you-right-in tale, rural-fantasy rather than urban-fantasy because of the setting. The characters are compelling, the plot rich, with lots of interwoven threads.

My only complaint was that throughout the teaching moments, when the tribal elders or the shaman would talk about principles of Native belief, the younger tribe members never knew what they were talking about, didn’t understand, had to have it explained again. If they grew up as traditionalist tribal members, they’d surely had exposure to and grasp of the spiritual and metaphysical aspects of the Red Road…wouldn’t they? They all acted as if they’d never heard of shapeshifting or sympathetic magic or spirit animals or dreamwalking. I surmise it was the author’s way to incorporate exposition, but it left me feeling like these people just weren’t all that bright. I found it awkward.

That aside, though, very good read. The real jewel here is the setting, a fictional Native reservation in Arizona, reminiscent of Chelly Canyon. Under de Lint’s pen, the Painted Lands come alive in all the stunning glory that is the desert, and made me incredibly homesick for my own desert home.

Join me on Goodreads: View all my reviews

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Follow Your Dreams (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

Jane jerks awake, the dream still strong. She’s scraped her fingertips against the rough concrete floor before she remembers there is no lamp. No bed, no matching nightstand, no electricity at all. Just her sleeping bag on the cold floor of the abandoned house she squats in.

The dream had felt so real. Safe in her bed. Her roses outside the window. Her house.

Follow your dreams, they said; it makes life rich. Except when you end up losing it all. She’d moved here with such high hopes. Now she knows that sometimes what’s over the horizon should stay there.

48833
Photo: 44833

Every week at the Ranch, Charli hosts the Rough Writers and Friends flash fiction challenge. This week’s prompt: “In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story using the theme ‘follow your dreams.'” More great flashes from other writers are at the link.

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The Night She Disappeared by April Henry (Book Review)

 

The Night She DisappearedThe Night She Disappeared by April Henry

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: ya, those-meddling-kids, mystery, crime, thriller, multiple-povs, epistolary, pnw

I got some pretty heavy heebie-jeebies from this story of a bright, pretty, spirited young girl named Kayla who is abducted one night while working at her job at a pizza place in the Pacific Northwest. As it happens, my own wonderful, bright, pretty, amazing young daughter is named Kayla and she works at a pizza place in the Pacific Northwest.

Yeah, that totally wasn’t creepy or anything.

It’s a testament to the author’s talent that I kept reading. This is a fast-paced YA mystery-crime story that adults can get into as well. I read the whole book in a single day. I like books with multiple pov’s. I like epistolary bits. Good plotting, well-drawn characters, page-turning pacing. Good stuff.

The extra helping of weird was totally not the author’s fault. I will read more of her books, as I quite liked this one and I’m happy to have discovered another author I enjoy. Unless, of course, the next Henry book I read somehow has something awful happening to a devastatingly handsome young librarian who’s preparing to defend his master’s thesis and has the same name as my son. I mean, I like it when things get weird, but there are limits. 😉

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Carrot Cake (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

The mindless chatter of two dozen people washes over Jane’s head, normally a wall of sound to hide behind but today, something to navigate. She balances her paper plate of cake – carrot, with cream cheese frosting, a favorite – careful not to jostle as she makes her way to where Barbara sits, queenlike, amid bona fide paralegals.

“I’m so sorry to hear Marianne is leaving,” Jane plunges in as Barbara glances up. “Are you accepting applications for her position?” She smiles brightly even as Becca’s eyes shoot daggers from across the room.

One woman’s going-away cake is another woman’s chance.

caro_oe92
Photo: caro_oe92

Every week at the Ranch, Charli hosts the Rough Writers and Friends flash fiction challenge. This week’s prompt: “In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story about carrot cake. It can be classic or unusual. Why is there cake? How does it feature in the story. Go where the prompt leads.”

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The Anubis Gates by Tim Powers (Book Review)

The Anubis GatesThe Anubis Gates by Tim Powers

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: everyone-loved-it-but-me, abandoned, time-travel, magic, sci-fi, monsters-and-such, fantasy, merry-olde-england, reading-challenge

I selected this for my 2017 Reading Challenge (yes, I know we’re well into 2018; I’ve been busy) because I like steampunk and wanted to read the book credited with starting it all. Plus, I love love love time travel.

I am very disappointed, and I feel like I shouldn’t be, which is why I read as far as I did. There’s a lot packed in here–time travel, Egyptian gods and magic, gypsies, a combination bodysnatcher/werewolf, the girl-dressed-as-a-boy (romantic interest later on, no doubt), Coleridge and Lord Byron, homunculi, organized rival bands of beggars like Oliver Twist meets West Side Story, a demented clown on stilts. But for all that, there’s no urgency, nothing compelling. I don’t care about the characters.

Having our hero stuck in Regency England could be fun, but there’s no related conflict. No figuring out how to make tea in an 1810 kitchen, no trying to explain his Gore-Tex and Ray-Bans–the author gives him convenient little saves that keep him from all that (he comes through in period costume and is promptly robbed of his clothes anyway; he is given the almost deus ex machina disguise of a deaf-mute beggar so no one will hear his modern, educated, American speech). He doesn’t even seem to want to go home all that much. He’s a gamepiece being moved about a board, no feeling, no desire.

I see no steampunk elements at all beyond, possibly, a pair of springloaded shoes. There is no science or technology; the time travel and the homunculi are accomplished with magic. Shoes are not enough. I was expecting steampunk.

I’m bored.

Plus, I hate clowns.

DNF-ing at 37%.

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Me and Manny McMansplainer

I never gave all that much thought to mansplaining until recently. I’d picked up on the word and knew what it meant but that was about it. I couldn’t even remember running into it all that much with the notable exception of a then-husband (who shortly became an ex-husband) telling me that giving birth can’t possibly hurt all that much and I should stop making a big deal out of it. But we didn’t even have the term “mansplain” back then. He was just a horse’s ass.

Until Manny McMansplainer came to work for me a few weeks ago, not hired by me but under my direction and my training, in what is now a two-person office. You have no idea how much I wish for a third person now, as both a foil and a witness.

And just in case you’ve been living in a cave (which sounds marvellous and I’m jealous), or you pay zero attention to the latest buzzwords (very sensible), mansplaining is when a man explains something to a woman in a manner that is condescending, patronizing, and often about which she knows as much or more than he does. Examples include a man telling a woman something about her own body or experiences as a woman, or explaining a basic principle of motion to a woman, because a pretty little thing like her would certainly know nothing about that, no matter that the pretty little thing has a doctorate in astrophysics.

little-lady-you-dont-understand-let-me-mansplain-it-to-you

SCENE ONE

HIM (THE NEWBIE): We can hook up this other computer and get it working. I’ll go ahead and do that for you.

ME (THE OFFICE MANAGER): We can’t hook it up yet. We need another switch. I’ve ordered one.

HIM: There’s one in that spare box of cables and stuff.

ME: That’s a router. I’ve discussed it with I.T. and have ordered a switch.

HIM: [without warning, unplugs my network thus zapping my unsaved spreadsheet out of existence, rummages through the McGuyver box, bangs around under my desk, unplugging things and plugging them in again, for several minutes]

ME: [sits back from my desk, arms folded tightly across my chest, sipping tea, tapping my foot, watching in amused and  judgmental silence]

HIM: [backs out from under my desk, bumping his head hard enough that I hope for blood]: Huh. This isn’t a switch. It’s a router. We need a switch.

ME: Yes. I know.

HIM: Well. Huh.

ME: Fucking wanker. [I didn’t actually say that.]

SCENARIO TWO

ME: Please feed documents in the scanner in groups of no more than 10. There’s a glitch in the FTP that means I often have to manually correct dozens of them after they’re scanned in. Feeding small batches is a good workaround for that.

HIM: But the paper feeder takes up to 50 pages.

ME: The paper feeder isn’t the issue. The FTP is the issue. It glitches with large batches of papers and takes me a lot of time to fix manually. I need papers scanned in bunches of 10 so it doesn’t do that.

HIM: FTP?

ME: File Transfer Protocol. If papers are scanned in smaller batches it’s less likely to glitch and I spend much less time making manual corrections.

HIM: Well, I don’t see why. The paper feeder takes 50. [puts a bonkzillion papers in feeder and presses the start button]

ME: [presses the cancel button and pulls papers out] I. Said. Scan. Them. In. Batches. Of. Ten. That’s how I want it done.

HIM: [sulks rest of day]

ME: What are you, six? [Okay, I didn’t really say that either]

SCENE THREE

HIM: This subpoena came back from skip trace asking you if we can serve this guy at this local address if the resident has power of attorney, but the guy actually lives in another state.

ME: I don’t believe we can. Please email in-house counsel and explain the problem, see what he says.

HIM: Well, I think we can serve it.

ME: Why do you believe that?

HIM: Well, whenever service members are deployed–deployed is when you’re sent from your home base to actual action–

ME: I know what deployed means.

HIM: Oh, good. They have to sign a power of attorney before they ship out.

ME: Okay.

HIM: And part of my job in the Army was to pull power of attorney from soldiers’ files and transmit then to JAG. JAG is the legal department.

ME: I know what JAG is.

HIM: [in aren’t-you-a-clever-girl tone] Excellent!

ME: And?

HIM: That’s what I did.

ME: One issue we have here is venue. Generally collections cases have to be filed in the jurisdiction where the defendant lives. If this guy doesn’t live in this state, the plaintiff’s attorney may have to dismiss the case and refile it in the proper court.

HIM: Well, if he’s in the military, he might not live where his home of record is.

ME: Correct. Serving someone on active duty has special procedures. My process servers have good relationships with the base legal departments. But we don’t even know if this defendant is in the military, and we don’t know what powers this POA grants.

HIM: Power of attorney gives the person power to do anything the person themselves could do. We can serve this on the POA.

ME : Of course. Please, allow me to bow down to your superior expertise, since you used to pull documents out of a drawer and mail them somewhere else and now you’ve worked here for five whole weeks.

[Okay, that’s something else I didn’t really say]

ME: [dead stare]

ME: Well, Mr. Manny McMansplainer. I’ve been a certified paralegal for more than 20 years. I’ve drawn up and worked extensively with estate planning and powers of attorney, including general ones, durable ones, durable general ones, health care ones, limited ones, special ones, and springing ones. I’ve worked on contracts and on breach of contract and money damages cases, both plaintiff and defense. I’ve arranged for service of process for hundreds of cases and ascertained it was done correctly. I’m well-versed in the Fair Debt Collection Practice Act, the Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act, and state law on process service. I’ve run this branch office of our litigation services company by myself, with glowing reviews, for several years. And with all that, I am still not expert to make the call on this situation. It needs to be handled by someone who’s actually licensed to practice law. Please kick it up to in-house counsel.

HIM: Fine.

ME: I hate you.

[Okay, I didn’t actually say that either. But I thought it REALLY REALLY REALLY LOUD.]

mansplain_magazine

And then there’s general rudeness, which may be misogyny or may be simple douchiness but given his other propensities, I’m going with more mansplaining. He talks over me when I’m conversing with one of my process servers. When I’m on the phone with someone, he comes over and leans in close to the mouthpiece and starts talking very loudly, interjecting himself into a conversation he could only hear one side of.

I have not simply put up with it. I have been assertive and direct. “Please don’t do that” and “Actually, that’s not correct” and “I was talking, and I’m going to finish what I was saying” do not penetrate beyond the moment.

My dutiful and devoted son, Monster, has promised that in the event I snap , he will establish a GoFundMe for my legal defense.

Please be generous, dear readers.

I love this mansplaining skit with Hillary Clinton and Jimmy Kimmel. Hillary, you have a fun, sharp sense of humor and I wonder if you’d have appealed more if you’d let it show more. Really. You should smile more, hon.

 

(In case the video doesn’t stay embedded, which happens to me all the time in WordPress, here’s the link.)

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Crane (Jane Doe Six Sentence Stories)

Becca finishes her lunch, reluctant to go back to the office and forsake the cool, green quiet of the cemetery, when movement stops her short.

Workmen are returning to the scene of the funeral, the mourners long gone to someone’s house, gone to vegetarian quiche and cake and punch and discreet nips of whiskey. Becca peers through the trees as the workmen load stands and vases of flowers into a van, followed by the slender podium they surrounded, then return to the graveside, a small, right-orange earth-mover waiting behind them.

She hears the squawk of machinery, sees one of the men operating a lever, the casket moving lower, then stopping, the man gathering straps that had been hidden under the casket, misstepping at one point to sacrilegiously stand on the coffin, flowers sliding off as he wobbles for balance.

Well, no wonder they rush everyone off before they actually lower the casket into the ground–how very industrial burial has become, with its cranes and backhoes! Definitely cremation when her time comes.

carolynabooth
Photo: carolynabooth

The Six Sentence Stories flash fiction linkup and blog hop has been handed off to Girlie on the Edge.  Many thanks to Ivy for the work she’s done hosting SSS, and I’m hoping she’ll now have time to write some sixes! I’ve had a blast with Ivy and I’m looking forward to Girlie. Feel free to join us; we have a lot of fun. (This week’s cue was “crane.” I know my take on it is a little weird but that’s what happens when you have a weird dream after trying to write something all evening. Go where the Muse takes you.)

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American Heiress by Jeffrey Toobin (Book Review)

American Heiress: The Wild Saga of the Kidnapping, Crimes and Trial of Patty HearstAmerican Heiress: The Wild Saga of the Kidnapping, Crimes and Trial of Patty Hearst by Jeffrey Toobin

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: americana, journalistic, as-seen-on-tv, true-crime, non-fiction, social-commentary

I knew very little about this case going in to this book. I was 12 when Patricia Hearst was kidnapped and all I remember of anything political during that pre-CSPAN era was being extremely put out when the Watergate hearings preempted my favorite TV shows for, like, ever.

The basic facts: In 1974, heiress Patricia Hearst was kidnapped by a radical guerrilla organization calling itself the Symbionese Liberation Army, appeared to begin sympathizing with them and joined them as a soldier, committed numerous crimes as their member, then defended herself at trial by claiming she had been brainwashed and went along with them because she feared for her life.

The basic question: Was Patricia Hearst, in truth, a victim of Stockholm Syndrome?

In the nomenclature of the times, what a trip. This exhaustively researched, unputdownable analysis of the entire case is a vibrant portrait of 70’s San Francisco and the Berkeley counterculture well-set in historical context. Factoid 1: The police shootout with the SLA in Los Angeles remains one of the biggest in American history and was the first instance of a live broadcast of breaking news. Factoid 2: The 2010’s and the 1970’s share similar sociopolitical goings-on, including economic woes, highly active movements for gender and racial equality, mistrust of the government, wealth, and the “Establishment.” The years 1972, 1973, and 1974 averaged 1,987 domestic bombings per year with an average of 24 people killed each year. Now we don’t have bombings; we have mass shootings. I’m not saying they’re directly parallel, but I think it’s interesting and would like to know more about it.

The drawback is that Patricia herself refused to cooperate with Toobin as he researched and wrote the book, but I feel he did his best to present her claims regardless and to keep his account judicious. Toobin used not only Patricia’s own memoir Every Secret Thing as source material, but transcripts of hours and hours of interviews she gave to others, interviews with hundreds of officials, witnesses, and people who knew her personally, FBI and police case documents, attorneys’ papers, private investigators’ reports, and court testimony to fill in what Patricia herself would not tell him.

If you don’t know much about the case and want to draw your own conclusions, stop reading this review and read the book instead. I recommend it highly. My own opinion follows.

So. Was Patricia Hearst brainwashed? Only she will ever know for sure, but I seriously doubt it.

I think she was a rich-girl rebel. At 16, she hooked up with her 23-year-old teacher, who turned out to be the fiance possessed of such incredible dickheadedness during the kidnapping and aftermath. I think that once she realized the SLA did not intend to kill her, that they were willing to accept her as one of their own, she took the whole thing as a lark. I think Toobin nailed it when he wrote that Patricia Hearst was sensible to the moment and always saw exactly where the butter on her bread was. I call bullshit, Patty, for the simple reason that I would have been the same way. I was also a self-centered, rebellious twit, easily blown by any wind, a sucker for the glamorous and the shocking, and embracing what was most expedient for me at any given time. For a period of roughly four days when I was 19, I thought Scientology was cool. Revolutionaries do have a romantic draw, and Che Guevara was hot. I get it. So, I see you, Patty, because if I’d been in your shoes, I might well have done everything you did, and for all your wrong reasons. At least I can admit it.

I understand the theory of Stockholm Syndrome and don’t deny it out of hand. I remained open-minded throughout the descriptions of Patricia’s time with the SLA and tried to put myself in her shoes. The entire time I read I kept asking myself, was she brainwashed? I doubt the SLA capable of it, honestly; they reminded me of the Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight. They were led by a black man who fancied himself the general of a black army but managed to recruit no black members, they had no clear agenda, they were so whack that other radical left organizations shunned them, they didn’t even know what they intended to do with Patricia once they had her. Months later, as she fled the manhunt during a cross-country drive with sympathetic people unrelated to the SLA, Patricia steadfastly refused their offers to help her get home. She refused to go home when the SLA told her she should go home. I laughed out loud when one kidnapper compared holding Patricia hostage to O. Henry’s The Ransom of Red Chief.

But…was she brainwashed? In fear for her life?

I can buy it through the Hibernia bank robbery. That could have been the test Patricia said it was, the first time since being taken that she was out in sunshine and fresh air, surrounded by armed kidnappers who said they’d kill her if she looked at them cross-eyed. The problems come up after that, when she was no longer under watchful and unblinking eyes, out and about buying groceries and stealing purses and casing banks on her own like any normal urban guerrilla does all day.

The turning point for me was the shootout at Mel’s Sporting Goods, when two comrades went in to shop and Patricia was left alone in the car, with a crapton of weapons and the keys in the ignition, and she chose not only to stay but to narrowly miss killing at least two bystanders while providing covering fire for her comrades.

The clincher was that her Stockholm Syndrome seems to have magically cured itself virtually overnight once she was arrested, looking down the barrel of life in prison and realizing how much she’d missed mascara and not eating horsemeat. Only then did she say she was terrified and browbeaten the whole time and start referring to the SLA as “them” instead of “us” and drop her brother-in-arms-lover like a hot rock. Turns out the life of a revolutionary is not really all that glamorous, I guess.

And I’m not angry that she came out of her trial pretty sweet or that her lawyer got her immunity for a second bank robbery that included murder. The lawyer is supposed to get the best deal possible for the client, and that’s what her lawyer did. But it’s galling to hear her claim she was persecuted because her name is Hearst and the “fascist pigs” were only after her, and then to remember that only the bourgeoisie she claimed to despise have access to top-drawer lawyers and two presidents, one for a sentence commutation and the other for a full pardon.

Brainwashed? Under duress? Ultimately, the only evidence I saw that Patricia was not doing what she wanted to do is her own say-so; every single other circumstance and witness says otherwise.

I considered reading Patricia’s book for balance but then I watched (painfully, because I cannot stand Larry King) a lengthy interview where in her country-club-eye-rolling-I’m-so-terribly-bored-by-all-this-daahling diction, she brushed off her own actions and refused to take a single iota of responsibility for anything while lambasting other SLA members for exactly the same thing. I think that anyone with the introspection capacity of a gnat, who had taken part in the things she did, would feel bad, feel guilty, feel ashamed, feel terrible about it, whether they were under duress or not. She doesn’t. She is completely without affect and shows not a whit of remorse. Victim all the way. Ugh. I still might read her book at some point, but right now I feel I’ve heard enough.

YMMV of course, and if you believe her story, I don’t blame you. Patricia Hearst is a chameleon, if nothing else. Read it.

Join me on Goodreads: View all my reviews

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Quoth the Raven (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

Jane bends to scatter crumbs from her morning muffin. Will Edgar come today?

Ravens. Birds of Apollo and Odin, messengers from these gods of prophecy. Harbingers of death and loss. She can’t lose much more. She’ll feed her raven instead; give him a name.

Flapping heralds Edgar’s arrival. He pecks his breakfast, fixes his unnerving gaze on her. He hops aside and she sees it.

She edges forward but Edgar has already retreated, perching on the fence. She stoops closer, in awe. A ring, gold in color only, plated finish well-scraped.

“Yes, Edgar,” she laughs. “I love you, too.”

Alexas_Fotos Raven
Photo: Alexas-Fotos

Every week at the Ranch, Charli Mills hosts a flash fiction challenge. This week’s prompt: “In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story that includes a raven. It can be in nature or used to describe humanity as a metaphor. Follow the bird. Go where the prompt leads.”

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The Road by Cormac McCarthy (Book Review)

The RoadThe Road by Cormac McCarthy

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: my-dystopia-utopia, post-apocalyptic, survival, end-of-the-world, literary-fiction, artsy-fartsy, pulitzer-winner, heebie-jeebies

This would have been five dazzling stars if not for some stylistic gripes.

The first is in the floor, such as “He sat down in the floor” or “The water spilled in the floor.” The first couple of times I thought they were typos that are annoyingly typical in e-books, but then I noticed its consistent use. Google tells me this is a colloquialism local to North Carolina. I can appreciate dialects, but I dislike stumbling over things and this one is, to me, nonsensical. If something is “in the floor,” I think it is inside the goddamn floor, like soaked-in liquid or ground-in dirt. It’s the difference between in the ground and on the ground, or on the bed and in bed. This was as annoying to me as Laura Lippmann’s Baltimoreon colloquialism “I am a police,” which I bitched about here.

My other gripe is about McCarthy’s disdain for apostrophes. Googling around, I read that he dislikes “cluttering up the page with unnecessary marks.” I take exception. When you omit apostrophes in can’t and won’t and we’ll then you’re using the entirely wrong goddamn word, and the apostrophes are hardly unnecessary clutter. McCarthy’s language is poetic and lyrical and beautifully archaic at times, and it interrupts a truly mesmerizing flow when I have to go back and reread the phrase or sentence because it doesn’t make sense as written. It’s like walking through a familiar room and constantly stubbing my toes and barking my shins because some madman just decided to move the couch into the doorway. Artsy-fartsy literary pretensions like this are, um, pretentious.

Other reviewers were also irritated by the lack of quotation marks around dialogue. I suspect these are more of what McCarthy deems unnecessary clutter, but Margaret Atwood uses this device to particularly good effect and it didn’t bother me here.

Now that we’re past my gripes, all I can say about this book is — wow. I mean, wow. I cannot remember ever reading a book as bleak and hopeless. McCarthy’s use of language lends an eerie beauty to the endless gray desolation of his post-apocalyptic world. There isn’t much plot to this setting- and character-driven story, and there doesn’t need to be. The deceptively simple repetition of days and nights and ash and cold and hard-won survival and persevering love is where its power arises. It’s stunning.

If you are a fan of dystopian fiction, this book is not to be missed. Perhaps the style choices will not irritate you as they did me.

Join me on Goodreads: View all my reviews

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Superman, Maybe (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

Jane blinks as the man comes fully into the bus stop shelter. His open shirt flaps in the winter breeze, his chest white and cold-looking, ribs like slats. But the shirt looks starched and his trousers are sharply creased. A wool coat is clamped to his side, under one arm. He sets a strapped attache case onto the bench, buttons his shirt, produces an already-knotted tie and slides it into place. He smooths his hair, his neatly trimmed beard. Puts on the coat, slips the attache strap onto his shoulder, checks the posted metro schedule. His shoes glow with polish. Mr. Businessman, just another commuter waiting for his connection.

Jane’s seen this guy before, every time finishing his dressing as he arrives at the stop. She looks around at an area she already knows too well. Blocks away from the nearest homeless camp. There’s no gym nearby; only dirty concrete buildings nestled into industrial yards full of equipment and unidentifiable junk. She looks at her own barely-pressed self, trying hard to look like anything other than what she is. If he’s homeless too, he’s pulling it off a lot better than she does.

Then she spots the battered booth back across the median, behind them.

Allodium
Photo: Allodium

This bit is in response to Carrot Ranch’s monthly #twitterflash challenge. February’s cue: “Write a 200-word story (give or take on the words) incorporating the theme of congruency.” The guy in this story is real. I can’t figure him out and decided to plunk him into Jane’s world. I can’t remember the last time I saw a phone booth, though.

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Get Shorty by Elmore Leonard (Book Review)

Get Shorty (Chili Palmer, #1)Get Shorty by Elmore Leonard

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: crime, thriller, spoof, satire, noir, Hollywood, plot-twists-and-irony, this-is-the-stuff-right-here

Things about this book I really liked:

1. I kept hearing Sheryl Crow singing, “This is the movie of the screenplay of the book about a girl…” The story-within-a-story-within-a-story of this book is like an Escher drawing.

2. The story goes that Get Shorty was Leonard’s revenge on Hollywood culture in general and Dustin Hoffman in particular. After Leonard did endless rewrites of a proposed script for his book LaBrava at Hoffman’s insistence, Hoffman ultimately bailed on the project, leaving Leonard unpaid for all his work. Get Shorty is all sly and smiley about it, but it’s still exactly why you don’t piss off writers. They will put you in a book. I have no particular dislike for Dustin Hoffman, but it all makes me happy.

3. The good guy is a mob-connected shylock. I like antiheros.

This is Elmore Leonard doing what he did best: Insanely good dialogue, one-of-a-kind characters who stay with you, a run-for-the-money romp, and corkscrew twists you don’t see coming. Good stuff.

Be my pal on Goodreads: View all my reviews

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Smoke (Jane Doe Six Sentence Stories)

A date. A date!

Jane feels her heart plummet to the soles of her feet at the thought of it, of him, this good-looking and funny and warm guy, this young guy, his eyes smiling at her, waiting for her to say yes, I’d love to have dinner with you. And then her stomach roils at what his reaction must surely be when he finds out — and he will find out, because how do you keep it a secret, that you are such a loser who’s squatting in the basement of an abandoned house?

So very many things are already almost unnavigable when you’re homeless, and now this too. Romance is, indeed, smoke from a distant fire.

Larisa-K
Photo: Larisa-K

Every week at Uncharted, Ivy hosts the Six Sentence Stories flash fiction challenge and blog hop. This week’s cue was SMOKE. The rules are simple: Write a story in six sentences, using the cue word any way you like. Join in the fun!

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The Passage by Justin Cronin (Book Review)

The Passage (The Passage, #1)The Passage by Justin Cronin

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: abandoned, post-apocalyptic, horror, supernatural, monsters-and-such

This book isn’t quite getting me there. But I didn’t set out purposely to read it, don’t feel like I was drawn in by false hype, so there’s room for forgiveness. My husband found it abandoned on a depot bench while he was waiting for my train and grabbed it for me because I love books. I’ve found some good books in bus seats and the like – a tattered copy of the I Ching comes to mind – but this one was a bust.

It started out well, even if it was a very Stephen King-ish mashup of The Stand and Firestarter and The Dead Zone, even it was very trope-ish with the magical child, the father-figure-protector, the psychic black holy woman. I was enjoying it. Then about a third of the way in – bam, that world is gone and we’re rocketed forward a hundred years or so, leaving behind the well-drawn characters struggling through the military-virus-fuckup-apocalypse to build a new world. WTF? I liked those characters. I wanted to see where they went, how they pulled it all off. And I could have kept with it and even put up with vampires from anyone other than Anne Rice, if the new setting and the new characters had been as compelling, but they weren’t. The new characters are numerous yet two-dimensional, and the pacing is bogged down. I put the book aside after an evening’s reading and never cared enough to pick it up again. (To be fair, I had an Elmore Leonard novel on deck and it’s tough to compete with the Duke.)

Which is not to say that Justin Cronin is utterly unskilled as a writer, because he’s not. He can create a realistic setting, can turn an evocative phrase. Other people loved this book. Perhaps I’d like one of his non-genre novels.

I will leave this on another metro bus, that it may continue its journey and hopefully find its way to someone who can appreciate it.

Be my friend on Goodreads: View all my reviews

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Fireweed (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

“Well, at least you got out of it. You corrected your mistake.”

“That marriage wasn’t a mistake,” Jane says.

The counselor raises her eyebrows.” Oppression, abuse…how was it not a mistake to marry a man like that? Not that I’m blaming you. You couldn’t have known.”

“Our daughter,” Jane says. “Only he and I together could have made that wonderful human being. Without him, I wouldn’t have her. She’s the fireweed that redeems it all.”

“Your daughter? Didn’t know you had a daughter. Where is she?”

Jane looks at the floor, silent. That’s a volcano all its own.

Natalia_Kollegova
Photo: Natalia_Kollegova

Every week, Charli Mills hosts a flash fiction challenge at the Ranch. This week’s prompt: “In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story that includes fireweed. You can use it as the plant, a flower, a metaphor or as the name of someone or something. Go where the prompt leads. Burn bright when you write.”

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Pitch (Jane Doe Six Sentence Stories)

Jane makes her way through the neighborhood, feeling for the vibe and feeling the stares — you’re new here — wondering if she could make a home here.

Too many kids are playing in front of that place; a raucous group of young men drinks tall cans of generic beer in front of another; this next place is awash in garbage. Jane shudders and moves on.

Then she spots a quieter residence, one that is neatly kept, a tiny, wizened elderly man reading in a camp chair, small dog at his feet, even a small pot of flowers. And hallelujah, there’s some open space next to him.

No applications or deposits required to move into the homeless camp, provided you can find a decent place to pitch a tent.

Capri23auto
Photo: Capri23auto

Every week at Uncharted, Ivy hosts the Six Sentence Stories flash fiction linkup and blog hop. This week’s cue was PITCH. Fun sixes from other writers are at the link. Come join us!

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Robert B. Parker’s Killing the Blues (Book Review)

Robert B. Parker's Killing the Blues (Jesse Stone, #10)Robert B. Parker’s Killing the Blues by Michael Brandman

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: accept-no-substitutes, money-grab, threw-it-against-the-wall, nope-nope-nopity-nope, abandoned

“Okay, everybody, quiet, focus, stare at the flame, hold each other’s hands…good…good…I feel a spirit here with us. Spirit, who are you? Who are you here for?”

” I’m getting R…O…B…Robert? Robert. Yes? Robert B. Parker…oh my God… Robert B. Parker!”

“How are you Mr. Parker? Knock once if you’re resting in peace, knock twice if you’re spinning in your grave.”

knock

KNOCK

~~~

I knew that Killing the Blues was the first Jesse Stone novel written by a substitute author after Robert B. Parker’s sudden death. And I did have my doubts. I came into this book steeling myself against a quite-possibly-unpleasant dose of not-RBP, although I was also hoping to be pleasantly surprised.

Not only is this not-RBP, which is forgivable because the writer is not, in fact, RBP, but it’s not even quality not-RBP, which is not forgivable. And I’m not saying I wanted someone to pretend to be RBP and succeed only in being a pale imitation, no no. I would be even more derisive than I am now. But someone of RBP’s godlike stature deserves a decent writer to carry on with his characters and his world, and that is not what we have. This is simply not very good writing at all. This is clumsy, all telling and no showing, like fan fiction written by a high-schooler. Jesse and Molly are cardboard standups of themselves, and I didn’t make it to Suit. I only made it through the first chapter.

Really, this is even worse than Whatshisbucket pretending he’s Stieg Larsson. Money grabs that exploit the exemplary craft of dead writers piss me off. But I have only myself to blame. After Go Set a Watchman and The Girl in the Spider’s Web, I swore I would not read any more of them. Live and don’t learn, that’s me.

RIP, RBP. You made it look easy. You are missed.

Be my friend on Goodreads: View all my reviews

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Black and White (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

Becca heaves her bag onto her shoulder, making sure she has her lunch, her phone, her bus pass. Another Monday. Joy.

Out of the elevator, she pauses at the door to the street, looking down.

New shoes. Brilliant new shoes. Stylish new shoes. Affordable new shoes. Comfy new shoes. She couldn’t wait to wear them. Brilliant black, blinding white. Wannabe swoosh.

And before she walks an entire block in the Pacific Northwest wet, the black and white will be gray all over. Ruined.

“…point of having shoes I can’t even wear outside,” she mutters, heading back up to change.

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Each week at the Ranch, Charli Mills hosts a flash fiction challenge. This week’s prompt: “In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story that features something black and white. It could be a nun in a zebra monster truck, a rigid way of thinking, a bird in a tuxedo — be imaginative and go where the prompt leads.”

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Style Over Substance (Jane Doe Six Sentence Stories)

“But I’m not sure I want to actually marry him,” Kathy finishes.

“Well, what kind of wedding can he afford to give you?” Torrey asks. “Can he give you Vera Wang and live doves in Rome?”

“It’s him I’m considering, not Rome,” Kathy retorts.

“Oh, honey, you don’t say yes to the man. You say yes to the dress.”

MichaelGaida
Photo: MichaelGaida

Every week, Ivy at Uncharted hosts the Six Sentence Stories flash fiction linkup and blog hop. This week’s cue was DRESS. Fun sixes from other writers are at the link. Join us! It’s fun!

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Artemis by Andy Weir (Book Review)

ArtemisArtemis by Andy Weir

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I adored The Martian. I loved it so much I neglected important things like a research paper with a looming deadline and clean socks and sleep, because I couldn’t put it down. So at the same time I looked forward to reading Artemis, I dreaded it. I knew that The Martian was going to be a tough act to follow.

And I was right. The storytelling is just as good, but Jazz Bashara is no Mark Watney. I see the free-wheeling spirit, the principled criminal, the grudge-nursing, heartbroken, sarcastic introvert with the heart of gold, but the “Pants on fire!” “You take that back!” type of exchanges she often had with people were a turnoff. She carried her flip and biting remarks too far and I spent a lot of time wanting to knock her on her ass–fairly easy to do in 1/6 gravity. It felt like Weir was trying to put the spirit of Mark Watney into a female character, and it came off forced.

Still, it’s a good enough story. The science is made interesting and is simplified enough for my non-science brain to follow. I love heist stories. I think Weir gave us a realistic portrait of what life on the Moon would really be like physically – a lot to get used to and much less romantic than we tend to think of it. The pacing is good, the characters are good, and the setting is excellent. It’s an entertaining read, and I might be rating it higher if I hadn’t had the amazingness of The Martian to hold it up against.

Bookshelves: outer-space, futuristic, the-big-heist, adventure, heroine-kicking-ass

Join me on Goodreads: View all my reviews

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The Edge (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

Jane is halfway across the bridge when the panic hits. Suddenly she is gasping, hot, her hands clammy and her mouth dry.  She barely catches herself from bolting backward, right into rush-hour traffic. She clutches at the fencing with one sweaty hand, her eyes drawn over the edge.

Why not? How long can she keep trying, keep losing? The open air calls beyond the chain-link mesh, beckoning to the water far below. It would be hard, and it would be cold, and then it wouldn’t. And for a few seconds, she would be flying.

Would it be so bad?

rkit
Photo: rkit

This week’s flash fiction challenge prompt at the Ranch: “In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story that goes to the edge. Consider what the edge might be and how it informs the story. Go where the prompt leads.”

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Stone Cold #Twitterflash (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

Over at the Ranch, @Charli_Mills and @CJaiFerry are giving us monthly #Twitterflash challenges. January’s prompt: In a single tweet, write a story about seeing coldness in a new light. Extra challenge one: Realizing a tweet’s limit of 280 characters includes spaces. Extra challenge two: Realizing the hashtag takes up 13 of those characters. Yowza!

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Stranger in Paradise by Robert B. Parker (Book Review)

Stranger In Paradise (Jesse Stone, #7)Stranger In Paradise by Robert B. Parker

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

So. I like Jesse and his department and I love Molly and Suit, and I like Paradise and the people in it, and the mysteries are entertaining, and I love RBP’s writing. But I cannot stand Jenn. I cannot stand Jesse’s obsession with this bimbo. I. Can’t. Stand. It. She annoys the living crap out of me every time I read one of these books. And every time I finish one, I’m sure that’s the last one I’ll read because I cannot take one more page of Jenn, and then I turn right around and check out the next book, hoping this time it’s what I want it to be.

Huh. Just like how Jesse is with Jenn.

Did you do that on purpose, RBP? Nice one. But it’s still pissing me off.

<checks out the next Jesse Stone novel against her will>

Bookshelves: detective, popcorn-reading, love-hate-relationship, mystery

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These Boots Are Made For… (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

Jane shrinks back into her corner, trying for invisibility. Office birthdays. She hates them.

She hides behind her slice of cake, eying the other women, each one wearing fashion boots with the onset of autumn. Ankle-high, calf-high, thigh-high, like who thinks those are appropriate unless your job title is Dominatrix? Black, brown, trimmed with fur, leopard pattern, silver work, buckles. All sleek, all stylish. All expensive.

She shoves her own feet back under her chair, hoping no one has noticed the clunky black Wellies she was fortunate enough to find at the thrift store.

Her luxury is dry feet.

StockSnap

Every week, Charli Mills hosts a flash fiction challenge at the Ranch. This week’s prompt: “In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story that includes boots. Whose boots are they, where do they go and what is their significance? Go where the prompt leads.”

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TUFF (The Ultimate Flash Fiction, Rodeo Entry)

TUFF is tough. TUFF is wonderful.

TUFF – The Ultimate Flash Fiction – is a brilliant way to write. Whether it’s an entire story, a chapter, or a scene, it expands upon the strict formats I typically follow, either the 99 word challenges held weekly at Carrot Ranch, or the Six Sentence Stories blog hop hosted by Ivy at Uncharted each week.

This final contest in the Flash Fiction Rodeo consisted of five submissions total. The first was raw writing, timed writing for five minutes, total unedited draft. The second was distillation of that draft to the standard 99 words. The third challenge was to pare that down further, to 59 words. Fourth was essentially a blurb, a recap in nine words. Then we were free to stretch our legs and fill the story out in 599 words.

It was amazing. I am well used to the 99-word challenge, participating most weeks. This constraint (and that of the Six Sentence Stories) requires me to really practice the craft, learn to be concise where I can so I can get wordy when I really need to, to paint the lushest picture I can with as few brushstrokes as possible. The next part, 59 words, was hard. An entire story arc in 59 words? But I did it. Nine words wasn’t hard at all. Then back up to 599 words, Paring things down, I’m used to; expanding things out, not so much. 599 words took some work. I loved every syllable of it.

And it wasn’t just the five different submissions, oh no. Part of the challenge was to follow the archetypal hero’s story. Charli explains the hero’s journey and elixir of transformation:

  1. The call: the opening scene in which the hero is called out of the ordinary world.
  2. The test: the story develops conflict through tests, challenges, temptations, allies and enemies.
  3. The cave: the story leads to a crisis, the hero’s darkest hour in the abyss of ordeal.
  4. The transformation: survival transforms the hero who begins the journey home.
  5. The return: the hero returns to the ordinary world with the elixir of knowing one’s own transformation.

Throughout the Flash Fiction Rodeo I’d tried to expand my horizons, to stretch myself beyond my homeless heroine, Jane Doe, and the people she shares her world with. But with the TUFF contest, Jane was irresistible. What an opportunity to flesh out her entire story arc, even I don’t intend to publish it in its entirety! So Jane is back, thinly disguised as Marlie. I have never personally experienced homelessness but it loomed in the windshield of my life not too long ago, and it terrified me. It is an epidemic in this country that breaks my heart. I donate toward ending homelessness when I can. (Nickelsville, appearing in the 599-word finished product, is a real place, a tent city named in karma-esque fashion after a heartless Seattle mayor who made life even harder for the homeless than it already was.)

I didn’t win this one either, and I don’t care. I had a ball just being there, for this final contest and the other six I entered. The winners were fantastic — you can read them here, including the prizewinning “The Sun Shines on the Half-Moon Cafe” by Liz Husebye Hartman.

keiblack
Photo: keiblack

TUFF Five-Minute Free-Write (No laughing! It’s hard to expose the initial writing process. Yes, I know I started with “Once upon a time.” At least it wasn’t “It was a dark and stormy night.”)

Once upon a time, there was a woman who was a talented paralegal. She worked for an attorney in a small town, for more than 15 years. But times got hard, and she was laid off from her job. She’d seen it coming, and had been looking for something new for more than a year, with her boss’ blessing. But nothing new had come her way in that time, and she had no replacement job waiting when the ax finally fell.

Casting her net wider, she soon got an offer for a position in another state. Expand her horizons, move up to the Big City, a new environment, a liberal community rich in the arts…what could be more wonderful? She happily spent money to relocate two states away, happy knowing family was a short flight away, happy for new opportunities.

The job was horrid. Miserable. She’d landed in a viper’s nest of emotional abuse and bullying, working for what she surmised was a true narcissist. After two months, she made an appointment with a job recruiter in her new city. After another month, she’d had no success. Fired. Far from home. Alone.

And the spiral downward began.

She applied for job after job, with no success. She was able to do temp work from time to time, but that wasn’t enough to keep her in rent money. She was evicted from her apartment, escaping with only a few possessions and the beat up old truck she’d intended to replace with her glittering new job.

TUFF 99-Word Challenge

“You don’t know what it’s like,” the man snarls. Fetid breath, brown teeth. “All your stupid paperwork, all smug, with your nice house to go to, your fancy clothes. But you’re clueless.”

Marlie recoils as if slapped. “You have no idea what I know,” she snaps back. “I used to make six figures a year. From there to unemployed, to suicide attempt, to the streets, until I finally got this job. And I’m grateful.” Deep breath. You’re not supposed to be mean to the clients. “I’m sorry, okay? Now let’s finish these forms, get you a place to live.”

TUFF 59-Word Challenge

Janine sips coffee. “I don’t get it. You used to have it all. Luxury apartment, Benz…now you’re in that sweathole, surrounded by deadbeats all day.”

Marlie cradles her own cup. “Ten years, I couldn’t get something at my old level. But I make a difference now. I get by.” She sips. “Sometimes you don’t make hay; you make do.”

TUFF 9-Word Challenge

Psych. I can’t find where I saved what I wrote for the 9-word part. Let’s say it was “I get knocked down, but I get up again,” with a nod to Chumbawumba.

TUFF 599-Word Challenge

“We’ve got the facts and figures for you, ladies and gentlemen, but I’ve also got the personal experience.”

Marlie pauses, takes a deep breath and a sip of water, plunges ahead before she can lose her nerve. She’s never excelled at public speaking.

“Seven years ago, I was in the same position our clients are, the same position homeless people are in all over this country. Businesses were downsizing everywhere, people being laid off. They lost their homes, their retirements, everything, through no fault of their own. I’m one of them.

“I relocated across the country when I couldn’t find something at home. And then I lost the job here. And then I lost another. I lived off my savings, and I didn’t worry. I was confident in my skills and my experience. The mantra in America is that if you’re willing to work hard, you can have anything, be anything, isn’t it? But it’s not true.”

Another breath, another sip.

“Over the next ten years, I submitted half a million resumes and applications. I’ve worked with countless different recruiters. I’ve been awarded a few temporary contract positions, but nothing went permanent like they’d promised. The long-term contracts were canceled before they ran to the end. It only took a couple of times before I learned to live frugally even though I was making six figures, because I had no guarantees. None. Why didn’t anyone want me? Why couldn’t I get anyone to hire me permanently?” Marlie shrugs. “I still don’t know.

“I hit a real down four years ago, when I’d run completely out of money again, been turned down for another sure thing yet again, and I attempted suicide. This wasn’t a ‘cry for help.’ Four hundred pills—I meant it. But I wasn’t as secretive as I thought, because a friend figured it out from across the country, called the police. I was found and saved.” She laughs, short and dry. “I couldn’t figure out saved for what, though. Things only got worse from there.”

Marlie pauses again, looks around at the legislative committee, seated with their water bottles and laptops, paying attention, unbelievably enough, to what she’s saying. Her eyes light on her boss, who nods encouragingly.

“While I was in the hospital and rehab, I was evicted from my apartment. No job, no rent. My things were put into storage and I eventually lost all of them. A friend took me in for a little while but then she moved out of town and I was left with nowhere again. And that’s when I ended up on the streets.”

“I didn’t stop trying, though. I got a very little money leftover from Pell grants by going back to school. I sold homeless-benefit  newspapers. I squatted in an empty house, until I moved to a tent in Nickelsville.”

More water, more air. Almost done. “Through all of this I kept applying, kept interviewing. Finally I landed this more or less permanent job, general office help at the homeless exchange. I earn a fifth of what I used to. I can’t even afford a whole apartment, but that’s okay, because I can’t furnish it, either.” Laughter. “I take the bus everywhere and I rent a single room from a nice family in Koreatown.

“It’s all okay. Sometimes you don’t make hay. You make do. I’m making do, and I’m making a difference to people who really need it, not just lining corporate America’s pockets. If the committee will approve our proposal, these funds can give real, solid help to people like me all over the state…”

FF Rodeo

A huge thank-you to Charli Mills, blogger extraordinaire at Carrot Ranch Literary Community and lead buckaroo of the Congress of Rough Writers. I had a blast.

 

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Murder, She Wrote (Flash Fiction Rodeo Entry)

Sherri Matthews led the Rodeo’s Contest #7, Murderous Musings, inspired by true crime stories, intrigued by the “why” behind it all. I am fond of true crime as well. I do believe that the right tumbling of dominoes could lead any of us to dastardly deeds and the workings of the mind and heart behind such things are fascinating to me. Contrary to what it’s easy to believe, most killers are not serial killers or mass murderers, dangerous to no one but their single victim, brewed up by a set of circumstances that are just so. According to both NPR and a Scripps Howard News Service review of FBI records, approximately one-third of murders in America go unsolved. I’ve often considered how easy it would be to get away with murder if I did it right, and I’m not even the smartest cookie on the sheet. One of my NaNoWriMo novel drafts was about exactly that. As much as most killings are one-time crimes of drunkenness or passion, it’s easy to ponder how many could be carefully planned, meticulously carried out, and successfully covered up.

This contest was simpler than some of the previous ones: “Write a flash fiction in 109 words, no more, no less and weave a murderous vibe through an every-day setting, either in thought or deed.”

Reading back over my own entry, I didn’t do much weaving, didn’t turn up quite enough heat. And that’s okay. Perhaps the main reason I write flash fiction, and participate in flash fiction linkups and blog hops, is to practice my own wordsmithing and to watch how others do it–watch and learn. Other writers let their murderous musings run free and took their characters far enough, and they were fantastic. I think I would do very well not to cross some of these characters, or their creators!

I am now of a mind to reread Arsenic and Old Lace.

body Free-Photos
Free-Photos

“Why would I know where he is? We’ve been divorced fifteen years. That was a happy day, being rid of that abusive piece of –”

“I’m just following up, Mrs. Burg. I’ve got two clients he owes child support to. He’s disappeared.”

“It’s Ms., and it’s Smith. I dumped his name when I left the state to get away from him. Try asking your clients.”

I’m asking you. Any ideas?”

Macie’s shrug can almost be heard over the phone. “There’s old abandoned mine shafts all over the place down there. And if he’s in one, I hope one of those exes had the pleasure of putting him there.”

FF Rodeo

 

 

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Ready Player One by Ernest Cline (Book Review)

Ready Player One (Ready Player One, #1)Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

So, here’s the thing. I didn’t care all that much for the 80’s, with the exception of Mario, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and MTV actually playing music videos. I had thin, flat hair that wouldn’t go big no matter how much hair spray I used. I don’t care for loud colors, can’t stand sitcoms in general, and I never got into hair band music. I lived my teenage years in the 70’s, playing Dungeons and Dragons and listening to better music and wearing cooler clothes, although I will admit that avocado green appliances were fuuuugly.

But this book is still just awesome. Willy Wonka meets The Matrix is right. It’s not the writing, which sometimes falls a little flat and is prone to telling rather than showing. It’s not the characters, who are standard (80’s) issue hero-cleverly-disguised-as-poor-geeky-orphan-kid, staunch-and-funny-best-friend, and super-hot-wicked-smart-love-interest. It’s obviously not the absolute saturation of 80’s pop culture with constant references to movies I’ve never watched and video games I’ve never played and comic books I’ve never read. What it is, is a grim dystopia, the year 2044, the world suffering a 30-year great depression due to damage from climate change, various nuclear altercations, and the widespread, abject poverty caused by unchecked capitalism. This dismal life is saved only by the OASIS, a virtual reality consisting of thousands of worlds and any type of magic and technology you could dream up, free for anyone to access, a gamer’s paradise and general escape from the desolation of real reality, and I can totally be down for that. If I had a billion dollars, one of the first things I’d get is a holodeck.

All of this makes a rollicking good tale, the worldwide free-for-all hunt for an Easter egg inside an incomprehensibly huge virtual reality/MMO game that will give the winner the entire Bill-Gates-ian fortune of the man who invented it. It’s a page-turning romp that may not be literary brilliance but is still written competently enough to get you there. I couldn’t put it down.

(It’s worth noting that I almost didn’t read this book, as it’s adored by a lot of the same people who love Ender’s Game, which pretty much nauseated me with its utterly unlikable Gary-Stu-little-shit of a main character and its disturbing number of scenes centered around naked prepubescent boys in the group shower. What is wrong with you, Orson Scott Card? Fellow bookaholics, if you’ve been avoiding Ready Player One because you threw Ender’s Game into the wall as hard as I did, trust me. They don’t compare.)

Bookshelves: cyberpunk, my-dystopia-utopia, nerdgasm, sci-fi, fantasy, ya, coming-of-age, reading-in-airports, futuristic, five-stars-means-i’ll-read-it-again, defying-gender-roles, lgbt-inclusion

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Wet Ink (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

“…to hold you in shadow and light, in doubt and certainty, when times are hard and when they are easy…”

Richard’s sister may have legally taken his earthly possessions, but this single page covered with scribbled bits of the vows he was writing are worth more than his computer equipment and manga art collection could ever be. Vows for the wedding they would never have. Becca gives in and allows herself to weep for a minute, then flings the pages away in horror at her carelessness. She can’t even read his words now, his pages smeared with her tears.

Sonorax
Photo: Sonorax

Every week at Carrot Ranch Literary Community, Charli Mills hosts a flash fiction challenge. This week’s prompt: “In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story about wet ink. It can be artistic, writerly, or completely off the wall. Go where the prompt leads.”

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Wages of Sin (Jane Doe Six Sentence Stories)

With a slam of the stairwell door, Michelle and Becca are gone. No invitation for Jane to join them, but as much as she dislikes them and can think of no one she’d want to eat lunch with less than those two, it still rankles, all the snapping orders and barking at her like she’s a dog and general condescension, no acknowledgement that she’s their co-worker and is human and might actually have a feeling or two. Not being invited to lunch, again, is really the least of it.

But then Jane sees it, shining like her own personal grail on the desktop of Becca’s Mac — the file Becca has been laboring over for the last two weeks, the electronic reams of police reports and witness statements and diagrams and photographs and medical records and deposition transcripts needed to prove their case, meticulously indexed and cross-indexed and Bates-stamped, ready for final approval and transmission to opposing counsel and the court.

It takes Jane only three clicks of the mouse before the magic words display on the screen: Delete file permanently – are you sure?

“Wages of sin, payback’s a mother, karma’s a bitch, and all that,” she mutters, and clicks Becca’s mouse once more.

WikiImages
Photo: WikiImages

Every week at Uncharted, Ivy hosts the Six Sentence Stories flash fiction blog hop and linkup. This week’s cue was “wage.” Fun sixes from other writers are here. Join us! It’s fun!

 

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Persepolis Rising by James S.A. Corey (Book Review)

Persepolis Rising (The Expanse, #7)Persepolis Rising by James S.A. Corey

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Bookshelves: sci-fi, space-opera, giant-interstellar-battle-cruisers-playing-chicken, outer-space, futuristic, action-with-a-body-count, this-is-the-stuff-right-here, hot-off-the-press, multiple-povs

From now on, I will be referring to my phone as a “hand terminal.”

These books are so good.

If you’re just tuning in, this is the seventh book in the Expanse series. The first is Leviathan Wakes. Start there, and read them all. You’ll be glad you did.

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Sleeping Deacon (Flash Fiction Rodeo Entry)

Contest #6 was the most challenging for me, the Bucking Bull Go-Round, embodying the Professional Bull Riders concept of what makes a good, high-scoring bucking bull ride:

“A contest of strength, balance, endurance, and effort between the world’s best bull riders and the world’s best bucking bulls. A rider must ride for 8 seconds with one hand in the bull rope and one in the air in order to earn a score. The clock starts when the bull’s shoulder or hip breaks the plane of the gate. It stops when the rider’s hand comes out of the rope – voluntarily or not.”

Without real bulls (thank all the gods there are!) the challenge shifted to writing. In real bull-riding, a rider’s arm may not touch himself, the bull, or the ground before the 8 seconds are up. For this challenge, no touching meant sticking to fiction; entries must be entirely fictional, with no first person narration. In real bull riding, the bull is scored for its difficulty to ride, including body rolls, bucking, and changes in direction; in this contest, the prompt words and the writer’s use of them to shift and change direction within the story while remaining in control were scored. Finally, style was judged, perhaps the most difficult. As lead buckaroo of this contest, D. Avery wrote: “Style is hard to define, but you know it when you see it. Style is when the rider has mastered the moves of the bull and now is showing moves of her own. Style is when the whole ride looks easy and smooth.”

  1. Stories are to be 107 words in long in eight sentences.
  2. Stories are to include the two words drawn as your prompt (you may change the order of the words and they do not need to be adjacent).
  3. Write a fictional story that involves facing a challenge or fear.
  4. Stories are to be fiction only; no personal narrative, memoir, or non-fiction of any persuasion. Spur on a story!
  5. Go where the prompts lead, or buck, or twist. Hang on to your hat!

Entrants put their names in for a bucking bull and were each given the name of an actual bull on the PBR circuit; I drew Sleeping Deacon. That’s where it got tough for me. How on earth to include both the words “sleeping” and “deacon” in one story about staring down fear? Why couldn’t I have got an easier bull, like Panic Attack or Prime Time? But then, it wouldn’t be a challenge. You take what’s hard, and you run with it the best you can.

brimstone skeeze
Photo: skeeze

SLEEPING DEACON

“What do you mean, you’re not coming to church? It’s the Deacon, back in town, gonna light everyone’s fire.”

Alicia sets her mug down with a snap and snugs her bathrobe tighter.  “That’s the issue. All I hear is damnation, eternal burning, we’re all sinners and always will be, and it follows me even when I’m sleeping, visions of never being good enough and burning forever, and that’s supposed to be comforting?”

“See, your problem is–”

“My problem is solved. I decided there’s no God, and now there’s no hellfire, no eternal damnation, and no early-morning preacher shouting at me, so I get to sleep late.”

~~~

Nope, didn’t win. But that’s okay. It was a real challenge, and damned if it wasn’t fun. The winners were wonderful, and you can read them here.

FF Rodeo

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Copper Country (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

“And it took me forever to clean the damn kitchen! If that man would learn I’d prefer a reservation to his cooking, I’d be so happy…” Michelle’s voice trails off as her office door snicks shut.

Jane pauses her filing, transported back in time to her mother’s kitchen, her child self scrubbing those hated copper-bottomed pans with steel wool until they gleamed. What she wouldn’t give for a meal home-cooked just for her! For her own kitchen to clean!

Her mother’s kitchen, closed to her since their estrangement. It seems a lifetime ago now, in a country now foreign.

stux
Photo: stux

Every week at the Carrot Ranch Literary Community, Charli Mills hosts the 99-word flash fiction challenge. This week’s prompt: “In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story about Copper Country. It can be any place, fictional, historical, or on another planet. Go where the copper leads.”

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Don’t Start (Jane Doe Six Sentence Stories)

“Oh, what a glorious day,” Jane chirps, shoving her backpack under her side of the cubicle counter. “Blue sky, walking uphill I got so warm I had to take my jacket off. The Mountain is out in all her glory and I swear it feels like spring already.”

Becca feels her shoulders pointing up near her ears as if she’s trying to hide her head inside them. Before she knows what she’s said, she snaps, “Oh, don’t even start this morning, okay?”

She’s not sure whether to cringe or revel in the silence that actually feels like a physical thing, suspended around them like a shroud.

jnusch
Photo: jnusch

OK, now I’m confused. I swear I read this morning that this week’s cue was “start,” but when I clicked the link just now for the blog hop and link-up, it says “suspend.” I daresay one of them was actually last week’s, reverberating around in my brain. So I edited a bit and used both cue words. It’s a twofer Six Sentence Story! You can read fun sixes from other writers here. Join us! It’s fun!

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Scars (Flash Fiction Rodeo Honorable Mention)

Still catching up with the Flash Fiction Rodeo over at Carrot Ranch – a series of eight different flash fiction events. Contest #4 was Scars.

Writer and event buckaroo Irene Waters gave the guidelines: “The topic – Scars – was inspired by a quote by Stephen King – whose book on writing should be read, I believe, by all aspiring writers. He wrote ‘Writers remember everything … especially the hurts. Strip a writer to the buff, point to the scars, and he’ll tell you the story of each small one. From the big ones you get novels. A little talent is a nice thing to have if you want to be a writer, but the only real requirement is the ability to remember the story of every scar.’ Entries were to show a remembered scar using any genre the writer chose in 198 words.”

I myself have come to believe this is true. As I write about Jane Doe and the cast of characters that make up the world she lives in, I draw on personal experience. I don’t limit it to that, though, because that would be a boring monologue about my own life, but it’s fun to take a small incident and blow it up, make it into a major event, personality trait, or obsession for various characters. It’s fun, and it’s cathartic, and sometimes good for a little revenge. You know what they say about writers – be nice to them, or they’ll put you in a book. It’s true that writing, or any art, heals.

When the winners were posted over on Carrot Ranch, I was thrilled to receive an honorable mention. The winners were fantastic, and the winner of this contest, D. Wallace Peach for “Galatea,” also took the All-Around Best of Show prize. You can read them here.

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She hadn’t ended up homeless on purpose. Who does? A simple layoff, when the bubble burst in the two-thousand-oughts. She hadn’t been worried–at first. But it stretched, stuck. Unemployed or underemployed or temporarily employed for the next seven years. Her fault? Really? She’d tallied it one year: half a million applications and resume submissions. Thousands of call-backs, hundreds of referrals, dozens of interviews. But nothing permanent, nothing at her earning level, or simply nothing. A temporary job won’t get you an apartment. She’d felt cursed, marked, by the time she finally landed her present position three years ago.

And after three years, she’s still trying to unpack it. If her login fails on her company’s time card website, her heart pounds. A downward trend in the business for a month leads to sleepless nights about the company going under. FedEx loses her package with $24,000 worth of billable documents, and she’s convinced she’ll be blamed and fired. The slightest hiccup looms in nightmares as a security guard standing over her while she clears out her desk, then showing her the door to the street. Once you’ve landed on the street, you never forget how easy it was.

FF Rodeo

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The Leftovers by Tom Perrotta (Book Review)

The LeftoversThe Leftovers by Tom Perrotta

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

What if you were going about your day, a day like any other, when the Rapture happened?

Bookshelves: popular-fiction, suburbia, satire, religion-sort-of, what-is-it-all-for-anyway, literary-fiction, multiple-povs, end-of-the-world, love-the-cover

The Leftovers is the story of those left behind after what is officially called the Sudden Departure, for the purposes of PC and especially looking at who was taken and who was left behind and the fact that Jesus does not seem to have made an actual appearance. And it’s a lot to deal with. It’s more than a little disconcerting when the friend beside you on the sofa watching YouTube videos is just not there. Just gone. Vanished. In, literally, the blink of an eye.

So, how to deal? If you didn’t lose your own spouse or child or parent or sibling, then you know plenty of people who did, or, perhaps most traumatically, you were an actual Eyewitness. What do you do? Maybe you drown yourself in booze and weed and sex. Maybe you bury yourself in work, or you leave your spouse and children to join a wonky stalker-ish cult, or you drop out of school and follow a so-called messiah who collects a harem’s worth of child brides in an effort to father The One as quickly as possible. Maybe you hide away from the world in your shock and grief. Or maybe you get righteously pissed and start a poison-pen mimeograph-type crap newsletter that you hand out on street corners to blast everyone else you’re stuck here with, because why the hell would the Rapture take that Muslim and that brown person and that goddamn hommaseckshual, and leave you behind when everybody knows you’re the best Christian in the entire world and you should have been hand-picked and first.

Or maybe you realize some things cannot be made sense of so you pick up the pieces and keep living your life as best you can, however that happens to be.

Perrotta writes with humor and heart, and without straying into the overly Biblical or the mawkish. Thoroughly enjoyable read, recommended.

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Practical Magic (Flash Fiction Rodeo Winner)

I won! I won! I couldn’t believe it, really. I don’t know how many entries there were, but I was thrilled to get the email announcing I’d won. This was my entry for the Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Rodeo Contest #3 (I didn’t enter #2; its rules included that it had to be funny, and I’m generally best at humor when I’m being snarky, which didn’t feel right for a contest). I’m still amazed. The best part of the prize was a small collection of rocks from Lake Superior. I believe I’ve mentioned before that I love rocks. These will now be my special Writing Rocks.

The rules for this contest were to include a septolet as a magic spell, total word count 200-300. The Septolet is a poem consisting of seven lines containing fourteen words with a break in between the two parts. Both parts deal with the same thought and create a picture.

BWSavannah
Photo: BWSavannah

Jane pauses in the vestibule by the elevator outside the law firm doors. Beyond the window the sky looms gray over twenty-five stories of air filled with drizzle.

Another interview over. For better or worse.

No. For better, this time.

She examines the cuffs of her blouse, new-to-her from the thrift store, not frayed, nicely white. Her slacks bag a bit; she’s lost weight. She hopes nobody looked closely at her shoes. She showered right before coming here, in the college locker room after her fitness class, the shower being the only thing a college fitness class could possibly be useful for. Her core aches pleasantly. Her hair is clean and tidy; her makeup easily understated. Leftover Pell grant money and ten hours a week work-study don’t exactly take a girl to Sephora.

Her good-luck portfolio, holding paper copies of her résumé and her passport – a nice touch, along with her slender purse. This is not the look of a woman living in a tent. She hopes.

Homeless for not much longer, if she pulled this off. It felt like it went well, but then, it always feels like it went well. Every time for the last five years, it’s felt like it went well.

She composes her mind, focusing as she pulls a small cloth bag from her purse, and from that a generous pinch of chamomile buds. “I attract you, prosperity,” she whispers, sprinkling it in the soil of the potted polyscias outside the firm’s door. Into the dirt she tucks an aventurine crystal: “For good luck.” She closes her eyes and chants quietly, with force:

My skills,

Your needs,

Perfect match.

I need

This job,

You need me.

*

Hired.

 

“So mote it be,” she whispers, and calls the elevator.

***

I’m still thrilled and amazed that my entry actually won, especially after I read the other entries liked by the judges. They are wonderful, and you can read them here. Pure magic.

FF Rodeo

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Turtles All the Way Down by John Green (Book Review and a Small Rant)

Turtles All the Way DownTurtles All the Way Down by John Green

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I have a beef with people who throw around “I’m so OCD” because they dislike the stapler being on the wrong side of the pencil cup. That is not what OCD is. OCD is an often crippling anxiety disorder that can make your life a living hell by way of intrusive, obsessive, terrifying thoughts that take over every single thing you try to do, every day of your life.

Example 1: As the result of a brutal attack, a woman now views the numbers 2 and 6, when adjacent, as a sign that something terrible is going to happen. If her total at the cash register comes to $8.26, she has to put something back or buy something else to get rid of the 26, while others in line shuffle their feet and mutter impatiently and she knows she’s inconveniencing them but she can’t help it, she has to get rid of that 26 or she’ll die. She always finagles a way not to leave the house, or even her bed on the 26th of the month and refuses to own a digital clock because somehow it’s always 26 minutes past the hour when she looks at it. She was fired from her job cleaning motel rooms because she could not even walk past, let alone clean, room 26 without hyperventilating and throwing up and management would not take her seriously enough to simply assign her a different block of rooms. She began crying uncontrollably in DMV when her new car was issued plates with a “626” and the clerk refused to simply skip that plate and issue her the next one, while letting her know she was being unreasonable and hysterical instead of being nice and humoring her, and had police remove her from the premises and cite her for disturbing the peace, but of course she can’t pay the citation because she just got fired from her fucking job and soon there will be a warrant for her arrest. Probably with a 26 in it somewhere, which will certainly kill her, because even though none of the other 26’s have killed her doesn’t mean this one won’t, and it will. She knows this.

Example 2: After losing her father, a high school student cannot walk down the “wrong” side of the street or sit in the “wrong” seat or her mother will die. She has to select the “right” item from the store display of identical items, always wear the “right” underwear with the “right” shirt, and needs her mother to check in throughout her daily movements to reassure her daughter that she wasn’t in an accident. If any of these rituals cannot be conducted, the girl is in agony, suffering crippling headaches and stomachaches, convinced with every moment that no matter how careful she has been, she has still inadvertently just managed to cause her mother’s death and equally convinced that even if she didn’t do it this time, she’ll surely do it next time, because you can’t watch everything, you can’t think of everything, and how long can anyone keep this up? What about all the things she could have done wrong that she didn’t even think of, because she was too busy choosing exactly the right Ibuprofen out of the bottle while trying not to throw up, and now she’s going to be late for first period again, that will be probably be detention, oh fuck it, just stay home sick again. But wait, they’ll haul my mom into court for me being a truant, and what if the stress makes her have a heart attack and kills her? Aaaand now I’m puking.

Now, picture those two scenarios, and knowing, with every fiber of your being, that the number 26 will kill you, or that not picking the right package of underwear off the rack will kill your mother, all while the rest of the world is telling you that you’re a nutcase, to just knock it off already, look, people are staring, no wonder nobody likes you. Imagine making your way through every single waking moment with the knowledge that disaster will fall at any moment, the constant pressure to make no mistakes because the resulting tragedy will be your fault, all while holding down a job and going to classes and doing homework and washing laundry and cooking dinner and taking medication and paying bills and trying to be social because the one thing you’re supposed to do beyond anything else in this life is just be goddamned normal, and maybe, just maybe, you could meet someone who gets you and wants to be a part of your life, all the while judging and weighing every single action because the tiniest mistake will summon doom, and ultimately knowing that you have no social life, no money, no success, because you’re batshit crazy and you can’t stop it.

That’s just one day. Now do that every day. Lather, rinse, repeat.

That is OCD. Not annoyance at an off-center picture on the wall. Please stop saying that.

These are real people, by the way. I personally know both of them.

I usually don’t care for Nicholas Cage, but he portrays OCD brilliantly in the movie “Matchstick Men,” which is worth the watch. It’s amazing that I would say that about a Nicholas Cage movie, but it was an amazing performance.

OK, so. Yes. This is supposed to be a book review. Turtles all the Way Down. Also a brilliant rendering of OCD. As he usually manages, John Green tackles a hard subject, kids dealing with the hard parts of life, and maybe they don’t do it entirely well but they do it entirely humanly, with grace and wisdom we don’t remember having at that age, but maybe we did. One of his characters, as you might suppose, has a pretty bad case of OCD, the real thing, and it is written realistically, with angst and compassion and a little bit of humor, too.

Turtles All the Way Down is every bit as good as you’d expect a John Green book to be, which is pretty damn good.

“Spirals grow infinitely small the farther you follow them inward, but they also grow infinitely large the farther you follow them out.”

And once again, just so we’re clear: This is NOT OCD:

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THIS is OCD:

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Photo: Bilder_meines_Lebens

Thank you.

Bookshelves: hot-off-the-press, coming-of-age, ya, mental-health-issues, popular-fiction, thank-you-for-getting-it-right, this-is-the-stuff-right-here

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Promise (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

Jane unzips her tent, peering out. Her breath mists in front of her, and the ground crunches under the feet of another Tent City resident, picking between canvas and nylon. Hard frost, again. Not snow, true, but still too cold for living in a tent.

She shrugs into her coat and grabs the backpack she’d loaded the night before, shuddering her way to the bus stop six blocks away. This is the stage of winter that feels eternal. If spring hasn’t come by now, it never will.

Until she spots them, tiny, delicate, white heads peeking through the frost.

Imbolc cover

Every week at the Ranch, Charli Mills hosts the Rough Writers and Friends flash fiction challenge. This week’s prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), include white flowers in your story.

 

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Star (Jane Doe Six Sentence Stories)

“Why so down, Jane, I mean, it’s Christmas, you know the rule, you’re supposed to be happy on Christmas.”

Jane shrugs, head down. “I’d wanted to have a job by the end of the year, but here I am, still unemployed, still broke, still scrounging, still homeless and living in a tent and not getting my teeth fixed because who has a gazillion dollars for fillings when you can barely come up with a dollar for McDonald’s coffee?”
“You’re also still HERE, hon, still doing resumes and going on interviews, selling newspapers for pocket cash, going to school, spending Christmas helping here at the shelter because you still help people who have even less than you do.” A quick, sharp hug. “You’re tough and you’re still here and you’re a rock star, Jane.”
elicesp
Photo: elicesp

Every week at Uncharted, Ivy hosts the Six Sentence Stories flash fiction challenge and blog hop. This week’s cue was “star.” Fun sixes from other authors are at the link. Join us! It’s fun.

 

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Chocolat by Joanne Harris (Reading Challenge Book Review)

Chocolat (Chocolat #1)Chocolat by Joanne Harris

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It’s typical for me to like the book vs the movie in inverse proportions — the more I love the book, the less I’ll like the movie. Sometimes it’s the other way around, as with Terms of Endearment, with the movie so fantastically wonderful and the book so fantastically atrocious. It happens sometimes.

I first saw the movie Chocolat years ago and loved it, and was pleasantly surprised when I loved the book as well, although there are some noticeable differences. The book is set in the 1990’s while the movie is post-war, perhaps to better capture the provincial feel of the setting. In the movie, Vianne’s nemesis was the mayor rather than the village priest, perhaps to soften what many in the reading audience felt was a shot at the Catholic church itself.

I can understand it, though. I once had a pastor similar to Reynaud, and in a similar situation. I sought advice and guidance with my own marriage, an abusive one, and found about as much comfort as Josephine got from her priest – you’re violating your vow of marriage, the solemnity of the marriage promise, a good wife is supposed to…blah blah fuckity blah. Excuse me? What about my husband’s vow of marriage, the solemnity of his marriage promise, how a good husband is supposed to behave? I felt betrayed, and when God betrays you, that’s serious. I fled that church and fled the marriage not long after, and have had nothing to do with organized religion since. I decided, as Vianne told the priest in the book, that I did not need an intermediary to connect with God/the Universe/the Divine/the Great Mother/the Force/whatever you want to call it. I have explored several different religious paths since then, stitched bits and pieces of many of them into my own warm heathen patchwork quilt, and have settled into a direct-line relationship with Whatever Name You Like for Your Invisible Man in the Sky that is far more spiritually aware than any relationship I’ve ever had with a brick-and-mortar church. And there you have it.

So I can see why some reviewers felt this book was attacking the entire Catholic Church. And maybe it kind of has that coming, if only for the contemptible offense of hiding pedophiles within its ranks. But the fictional Curé Reynaud is no more representative of the entire Catholic Church than that one shitty pastor I encountered was representative of all of Christianity, and smart, discerning people can figure that out. And there are two sides to that coin. Decades ago, when I was very young, working at a university library, I regularly helped the college’s priest with book and audio-visual (that’s how long ago this was; it was still called audio-visual) stuff. I adored Father Simon. He kept telling me I needed to get back to church, and I’d say, “But I’m not Catholic, Father,” and he’d say, “It doesn’t matter, God is God, I don’t care what church and God doesn’t care either,” and I actually did attend one time, at his little college chapel. That’s the one and only time I went to a Catholic ceremony and I felt out of place, not because of Father Simon who was wonderful as always, but because I’ve always felt a little squirmy in any church except the great outdoors, and when I told Father Simon that, he agreed that was all right too.

And I think that’s ultimately what Harris was writing about, by way of one power-drunk priest and another, utterly heathen sort of a fallen-woman character who gave the comfort and support the people needed and who better embodied the teachings of Christ than did the man of the cloth. The many different paths to God, if you will. And I still won’t go to church.

Anyway, this book is great stuff. Harris’ writing is lyrical, I felt I was right there in the village of Lansquenet-sous-Tannes, I loved the townspeople I was supposed to love and did not love – actually felt sorry for, rather than hating — the ones I was not supposed to love. My only complaint is that Roux was not written nearly as delicious as Johnny Depp made him – but that would be hard to do without pictures.

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You’re welcome.

This book was ## on my 2017 Reading Challenge, a book about food.

Bookshelves: chick-lit, france, literary-fiction, women, magic, mysticism, religion-sort-of, misogyny-rules, popular-fiction, social-commentary, reading-challenge

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Only in America (Jane Doe Flash Fiction)

“I’m here for my foreign language credit,” Rico says when it’s his turn.

Rico,” another student says. “Isn’t your name Latino?”

“We came here when I was a baby. I ignored my parents’ Spanish so I could fit in. Americans speak English.”

“Does the backlash against DACA affect you?” the teacher asks.

Rico spreads his arms: ta-daaah. “Only wetback you know who doesn’t speak Spanish. Paperwork and fees always on time. No arrests. Support myself, no Medicaid, no welfare, no student aid. Pay taxes, health insurance, college tuition. They still want to deport me.” Arms drop. “Only in America.”

skeeze liberty
Photo: skeeze

Every week, Charli Mills hosts the Rough Writers and Friends flash fiction challenge. This week’s prompt: In 99 words (no more,  no less) write a story using the phrase “only in…” Great flashes from other writers are at the link. Join us!

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The Pianist by Wladyslaw Szpilman (Reading Challenge Book Review)

The Pianist: The Extraordinary True Story of One Man's Survival in Warsaw, 1939-1945The Pianist: The Extraordinary True Story of One Man’s Survival in Warsaw, 1939-1945 by Władysław Szpilman

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

“Humanity seems doomed to do more evil than good. The greatest ideal on earth is human love.”

That quote isn’t from Szpilman himself; it’s from the diary of Wilm Hosenfeld, the German officer who helped Szpilman, excerpts of which are included after the memoir itself. And I would agree with it. This book is about nothing less than humanity’s own consistent failure to live up to its own ideals.

This book really whapped me in the head, and not because of any spectacular writing. As a matter of fact, not far into the book I mused that the writing was a bit dispassionate, all things considered. I was okay with that, because the man was a musician, not a writer. It’s still competently written. And then I got it, that this was written in 1945 by a man who had just endured endless years of the most inhumane treatment, had lost his entire family to the world’s most infamous genocide, and I realized that I may have been reading stalwart detachment, but it also may have been an attempt to hold on to some dignity in the face of unutterable shock and loss.

One part of me thinks I have to stop reading books like this, that try to decimate what faith in humanity I have while also displaying the resilience of the human spirit, and another part thinks no, this stuff needs to stay in the front of our minds, to remind us to be vigilant. You only have to follow the news to know we haven’t fucking learned, and to suspect we probably never will. This is a deeply moving book that gets four very depressing stars and not five, only because I’m sure I cannot bear to ever read it again. It’s no surprise that Chopin’s Nocturne in C sharp minor seems to sound even more melancholy now.

This was #17 on my 2017 Reading Challenge, a book set during wartime.

Bookshelves: memoir, jewish-history, nazi-hate, world-war-ii, translated-to-english, banned-and-challenged, grittiest-reality, non-fiction, reading-challenge

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When I Grow Up (Flash Fiction Rodeo Entry)

I mentioned a while back that I’d been writing, just not publishing, because I was entering a lot of events at the Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Rodeo and judging was to be blind. Judging is in for Contest #1, led by Rough Writer Norah Colvin: When I grow up. Cast yourself back to six years of age, knowing what you do of life in the present; what would you want to be when you grow up and how would you go about achieving that goal? Tell us in 100 words, no more no less. It can be real or imaginary, serious or light-hearted. Extra points for comparing it to your childhood choice, if you remember it.

I wrote this piece over a month ago, but just last week, Dream Girl and I had a conversation.  I was talking about all I want out of life, saying all I need is enough to meet our needs, and maybe a little extra for a treat once in a while, like a trip home or a road trip somewhere else once in a while, but what I want on a daily basis are health; a job that I like, that I’m good at, and that pays enough for us to live on; and good book and peace and quiet to read it in. She replied that I’ve really scaled back on the “all I want,” and she’s right. She can remember me saying I wanted to go back to school, I wanted to travel the world, I wanted a big house with a wraparound porch smack in the middle of wooded ten acres…oh, well. You get older, and things become less attainable. The odds of my fortunes changing so I can afford any of those things are slim and none. That’s just how it is. I’m all right with it.

WHEN I GROW UP

“I had a dream last night, Mommy.”

“Oh?”

“It was me, only old like you. Talking to me.”

“Really.”

“I told me that I’m going to want to be something when I grow up. And I’m going to tell everybody, and they’ll say no. They’ll say get a job like in an office, so I can reti–reti–something. And insurance. Like that man was selling the other day?”

“‘Retire,’ maybe?”

“Maybe. And old-me said I’m not ‘posed to listen to that. I’m supposed to do what I want. Because I’ll be happier.”

“You’re smarter than grownups?”

“That’s what old-me told me-me.”

kellepics
Photo: kellepics

I didn’t exactly incorporate what I wanted to be when I grew up.  From when I was young, I wanted to entertain as others entertained me. I’d hear a song I liked and I wanted to sing it; I’d want to be able to act like so-and-so did in that movie I loved; I wanted to write something like Harriet the Spy or A Wrinkle in Time. Any masterful performance could inspire me. After I discovered the joy of making music, that morphed into a desire to be a session musician. My hero was sax man Bobby Keys, known mostly for his work with the Rolling Stones but who did so much more; I wanted to be just like him only without the heroin. (And if you like a rollicking autobiography, check his out: Every Night’s a Saturday Night. RIP, Bobby.)  I let myself be talked out of it, though, by my blue-collar, practical, and absolutely well-meaning father, who advised me to let such foolishness be the stuff of dreams and secure my future with a “job I could retire from.” I still regret listening to him on that one.

My entry didn’t win, and that’s okay. I had fun just the same. It’s one thing to let your writing see the light of day; it’s a little bit harder to enter it where it will actually be judged on its merits. I’m glad I entered. The winning entries are wonderful; you can read them here.

FF Rodeo

 

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Don’t Let Go by Harlan Coben (Book Review)

Don't Let GoDon’t Let Go by Harlan Coben

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

“She said she was in danger, but that she’d be okay.”

So, I’m reading along and I notice, out of nowhere, that books are the only place I see people refer to being in danger. Movies, too.

https://giphy.com/embed/7NbNXY0hXaBWw

via GIPHY

 

And in case there’s a blank space with a link in it, it’s supposed to an embedded gif of Whoopi Goldberg warning Demi Moore that she’s in danger. They don’t always work; WordPress pisses me off sometimes.

So anyway. In danger is an exalted place to be, like being in a state of grace, being in love, being in a family way. It’s special to be in danger. Being in danger leads to metamorphosis: From being in danger, you walk through fire and come out the other side forever changed. Or maybe it’s just a plot device; you go from being in danger to being dead and the end of your journey becomes the reason for the protagonist’s journey. Either way, being in danger is serious stuff.

But nobody says they’re in danger in real life. We say we’re up shit creek, or we’re in an evacuation area, or we’re waiting for the ax to fall, or if my ex doesn’t quit stalking me I’m buying a gun and capping his ass, but we never say we’re in danger. At least, I’ve never heard a real person say it.

But, back to the book. I was quite disappointed in the first Harlan Coben book I read, The Stranger (ha ha, that rhymes with danger, and now my head is going to be replaying yooou-oooh, stranger danger from that Cure song for the rest of the day, thank you very much), which I got accidentally because my fingers hit the wrong button on my touch screen when I was trying to check out the same title by Albert Camus. Coben’s effort under that title was unsatisfactory (although I liked the Camus book; both are reviewed here) but other reviewers said it was a poor effort from an author they usually like, so I gave him another chance.

All of which is my roundabout way of saying that Don’t Let Go was worth the read, so Coben redeems himself. I’m sure he was quite worried about it, too.

Bookshelves: mystery, detective, suspense, hot-off-the-press

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